Starting of Something New
by ElphabaAngelofMusic
Summary: Charlotte Davies is an aspiring actor/writer who finds more than she expects on a sudden trip to LA, despite how certain she is that her life is already over... I suck at summeries, so please give a chance! Full summary inside! Rated T just to be safe!
1. Preface

**So, I thought of this whilst I was watching the Phantom of the Opera on DVD and I just had to write it, because it was stuck in my head for days! I really hope you like this as I've never written anything like this before and please review! :)**

Full Summary: Aspiring actor/write Charlie Davies travels to Los Angeles, for a short break and a holiday to take her mind off of a difficult year. What she finds here knocks her completely off guard, but is she willing to forget the broken heart that caused the mess in the first place, and eventually move on in the process? One person believes he is strong enough to help her, but can she really find it in her to say goodbye to her past and finally get over everything that had happened?

* * *

**Starting Of Something New**

"**An intelligent person can rationalize anything, a wise person doesn't try."  
― Jen Knox**

There were no possible remarks or words that I could have thought of to properly decipher how much discomfort and how much agony I found myself in, within the moment that I finally awoke. The pain was brought on before I even attempted to open my eyes and I realised gravely that this was probably just the start of it, considering how it was only presumably the night before that I took a hit.

I didn't have enough courage to open my eyes quite yet, because I realised sadly that that would mean embracing the world once again, and painting on a fake smile upon my face, one that showed no real happiness. I was in utter torture, and I found myself praying silently for death to come, as it seemed to me that this would be the easiest way out. I was a coward, because I'd have rather die than have to face the next couple of months of detox in order to rid myself of my addiction.

I groaned in agitation, as the pain slowly intensified, and it began to feel as though every single part of my body was throbbing from a dull ache, and in particular, my head felt as though it had been repeatedly smashed to a brick wall.

I craved sleep; I craved sweet ignorance over physical suffering, because anything was better than having to awaken properly and face the reality of what I had slowly become. I had completely and utterly fucked up my life, becoming the thing I had once been disgusted of. But as I lay awake, a dull ache circulated around the whole of my small body with its powerful aggression and possessiveness, to the point that I couldn't think about anything else in the world.

My mouth was dry, and my tongue felt like roughened sandpaper, affixed to the root of my mouth.

A noise suddenly caught my attention as I gradually became more and more knowledgeable of my current surroundings, rather than just of the sheer suffering that was circulating its way through me.

_Beep, beep, beep_.

Irritation flooded me due to the consistence of the annoying sound perched just beside me, directly to my left ear, despite how intensely I attempted to simply ignore it. I realised with sheer grief on where I was, despite how much I wished it not to be the reality that I was facing the moment my eyes opened.

Something warm was pressed against my left hand, and as the dull aching began to lull from my left hand, I apprehended that it was a hand, touching lightly against mine, in an attempt to bring comfort. It brought a sudden heat against my chilled skin, and the caress was so unexpected and unwanted that I instantly jerked my hand away, ignoring the way that my arm ached dully with the weight of such a slight, abrupt movement.

I involuntarily forced my eyelids to lift, despite how heavy they felt, and allowed my eyes to gradually open, blinking back the urge to close my eyes again once more, despite how trying it was to keep my eyes open, given how exhausted I felt.

I glanced slightly to my left, ignoring how sour my eyes felt in reaction to the slightest of movement, simply because I was curious about who had touched me, considering how far away I was from home.

White greeted me first, and with a few desperate blinks, I regarded the woman positioned at the left side of my bed, scanning over me with concern apparent in her dull olive green eyes. Her skin was a creamy ivory skin, a little bit creamier than the shade of my own skin, and her mouth was a rosy pink colour, the perfect tint for a lipstick. She was older than me, around ten years or so, given the firm, thin lines inscribed around the edges of her mouth and the corners of her eyes. Her hair was as golden as the sun, and her thin, neatly plucked eyebrows coordinated the sunlit blonde shade of her locks. She was wearing a plain white overcoat, perched over what looked like a sea blue tee shirt and trousers that was all a part of her modest looking uniform. Pale yellow merged in with the top of her uniform, and as I examined closer with my eyes, I realised she was wearing a stethoscope from around her neck.

She was obviously a doctor, which meant that I had been completely right with my assumption a moment ago, when my eyes had been shut. I was in hospital, whisked away to safety after my careless overdose.

Her mouth turned up into a pleasant smile, but I quickly turned away, desperate to escape what I knew would soon come. I would get another lecture by yet another person about how I was ruining my life and killing myself slowly by taking more and more drugs, and I would sigh heavily in response and pretend to be taking it all in again, when really, I just wanted to escape from having to listen to anymore.

I took a deep whiff of the room that I had been placed in, and I couldn't help but sigh in contentment as the smell of great cleanliness and the deep fragrance of bleach reached out to me.

I peered around my surroundings with fabricated interest, ignoring how stiff my body felt, perched against the uncomfortable hospital bed, though it felt as though I had been stuck in the same position for days on end. I took a long moment to scan the room with eyes that still felt far too hazy, taking in the painted walls. The paint looked as though it was meant to have been shaded in white, but where it hadn't been painted in so long, the colour had faded to a dull, grey colour, which matched the boring, speckled flooring beneath me. The sheets were shaded in the same speckled effect, and the mattress felt lumpy and hard beneath me, which really wasn't helping in making the aches and pains of my body feel any better at all. It also explained just why most of my back felt so sour, considering how awful the bed felt.

I turned my head, disregarding the way my neck desperately tried to disobey with such a movement, and scanned the room to my left, taking in the heart monitor machine which stood proudly beside the bed. Thin, white tubes were wired up to the machine, and ran directly to my heart, and a thin, clear IV wire was wired up to the inside wrist of my left arm too.

"Charlie, can you hear me sweetheart?"

The high pitched, anxious voice instantly caused me to turn my head in curiosity, raising my eyes to glance at the middle ages woman stood in front of me, and trying desperately to ignore the stabbing pain beneath my eyes. I must have winched though, because her mouth turned downwards into a frown as she reached forwards, allowing her lavender scented perfume to wash across me and shone a bright light into my left eye, and instantly made me whimper delicately in response at the blinding sensation. She ignored my response and moved to my right eye to do the same, before finally pulling it away from me. I breathed a sigh of relief in response, considering how much it had caused my eyes to ache.

"Sweetie, I know you're in a lot of pain right now," the voice attempted to sooth me in what sounded like a Californian accent. "But I promise you, I'll be right back with something that will take away the pain." The woman promised softly, reaching out for my left hand and holding it tightly in her hand.

"Just squeeze my hand if you can hear me first."

I did as she asked, before I was unable to stop the desperate sob from escaping me in response to how much discomfort the move alone brought on. She instantly let go of my hand, allowing it to rest upon the bed again, and I was more than glad she had, because the warmth of her skin was doing nothing to better the dull ache that was throbbing all over my skin, including my hands.

"You're doing brilliantly honey," the woman insisted in a childlike voice, as though she was talking to someone of the age of five or six. "Do you remember what happened to you sweetheart?"

I shook my head only slightly in response, but my head instantly throbbed with a despairing ache as I did, causing me to whimper yet again in response from the slightest of movements in response.

I remembered the first part of my night out on the town well, but I didn't remember anything else of the night at all. I remembered bumping into Bryony, the drug dealer who I often received gear from, and I remembered scrounging heroin from her, promising that I would pay her back for it. Of course, it was a lie, considering how skint I was, because of my constant need for the drug, but I would have told her anything to get what I wanted. I also remembered running off to the nightclub's toilet cubicle and injecting it into my left foot and that was the very last thing I remembered…

"You had a drug overdose," she spelled it out for me, seeing my forehead crease in concentration as I desperately tried to recall what had happened for myself.

Hearing this said out loud for myself surprised me, despite how I had already as guessed as much, because I had taken it quite a few times before and in the same amount as what I'd taken the night before, and had been absolutely fine, so what had happened this time that was somehow different?

"You took two lots of heroine, which was why the drug had such a massive impact on your system," she continued, making recognition run through me in response to her words, as this made more sense. I had probably gone back for more, hungry for another fix, and not realising at all the toll it would have on me. I had never taken heroine twice in one night, which was why I had had an overdose.

"Luckily though, you were found in time by one of the guy's in the club, and I heard that the same guy has been sat in the waiting room all night, waiting for you to wake up." She explained carefully, though her words sent even more confusion tumbling through me in response, considering how I remembered little of last night. I hadn't a clue who had found me, so I had no idea who had been waiting for me to awaken for the whole of the night, and the thought alarmed me a little.

"Do you want me to invite him in?" She asked me with hesitation, and despite my resistance in finding out who it was that had found me, considering how it could have been anyone, considering just how little I remembered of the night, I forced myself to make a small nod in response, ignoring the pain that was brought along with the movement, because I realised that whoever it was, they deserved an apology at the very least, considering what they had done for me. I believed that whoever it was who had found me last night had definitely saved my life, especially considering how few people I knew around here too.

She nodded her head and threw a soft smile in my direction, and quickly moved out of the room, which gave me time to think of some of the absurd things I had probably done last night, all because of how powerful my addiction was. It had gotten far past the point to where anything else mattered to me in my life. All that existed was this addiction, and gone was the girl who used to be. Gone was the girl who was grieving over the loss of a child.

_Sebastian_.

I sobbed unbearably as I thought of his name, because it felt as though he was dead anyway, rather than how he had just been taken away from me. It felt as though heroin was the only thing that could take all of the pain away, but I supposed that instead all it had done was stripped away everything that I used to be, abolishing all the good parts that used to belong. I realised that this needed to stop, but I was baffled as to how I was ever going to overcome such an addiction as this.

I realised I'd ashamed myself, and not just that, but I had ashamed _him_ too, my Sebastian. That was even harder for me to bear, to admit to myself, even when I realised that it was the truth. Sadly, he deserved a far better mother than the one he had now. And I realised that what I really wanted was to get myself better for him, because if anything was to happen, if we were ever to miraculously meet again, I would make sure I was a far better person than I was now, I would be the mother he deserved. That would be the one thing I fought for.

I glanced around the room for any sign of water, becoming desperate for a drink, but the dull aching pain that followed the movement caused me to sigh in agitation, because it stopped me from reaching out.

I heard a gentle trail of voice from just outside the doorway, and I tried to listen excruciatingly closely to see who exactly was coming down the hall to see me. It sounded like a male's voice, considering how deep the tone of the voice sounded, and my curiosity instantly doubled over in response. Finally, the doctor headed back into the room, and I noticed a tall shadow follow on behind her, and as she stepped away, it revealed the man who had stayed with me for the whole of the night after the drug overdose.

I stared at him in shock, realising who it was instantly, and feeling an overwhelming sense of disbelief wash over me in response, considering just how famous he was, especially in Los Angeles. He was the last person I had expected to see here, considering how little I knew of him, and how I had only met him a couple of times before. But there was no doubt in my mind that it was definitely who I thought it was.

He stared back at me in a worried manner for a moment, before a slight smile found its way upon his features easily, and I couldn't help but continue staring at him in deep shock. Only, it wasn't because of just how famous he was now, but rather just how much more absurdly good looking he was in real life, because despite his age, there was no way that anybody could doubt that.

His hair was styled naturally, in its usual, untamed way, just like how I had seen previously in a number of magazine articles that I lazily flicked through whilst travelling on the plane over to here. Random curls flicked out here and there in his lightly brown locks, and his hair looked a little longer than when I had last met him, and his creamy skin looked as though it was a shade lighter. I had met him briefly at the Soccer Aid game, and then again, at the final of _Think Of Me_ as I won the role of Christine in Phantom of the Opera. That was the last time I had seen him, and then after all of that, my life began to spin out of control, so rapidly that I didn't seem to have any authority in my own life anymore. As he stepped further into the room, I noticed that he was wearing quite plain clothes; a dull looking, black and grey chequered shirt, with three quarter cut off sleeves, and was paired off with a pair of slightly darkened, blue jeans, and a pair of black trainers.

I hadn't noticed before, too focused on the shock of seeing him here, but he looked quite tired, and there were darkened circles sat just beneath his eyes, making him look more like his age, though if it wasn't for that, it would have been difficult to tell. It seemed understandable, considering how he had apparently been here for the whole night, because I doubted the waiting room of the hospital was very comfortable to sleep in.

He walked towards my bedside in an uncertain manner, keeping his eyes on me the whole time, though I noticed a little bit of surprise in his eyes as he took in just how thin I had gotten as of late. This in itself told me that he must have remembered me from half a year ago when we had last met.

With my addiction to heroine, even eating didn't matter very much to me anymore. It had gotten so bad that I often went for a few days without food sometimes, surviving only on my greedy addiction.

The doctor swept around him quickly and poured me a glass of water from a massive, blue lidded jug, and instantly, I reached out for it with sudden eagerness, ignoring the way my arms ached due to the movement, and quickly held the cup to my lips and breathing a sigh of relief as soon as the liquid slipped past my throat, because it felt glorious, after what felt like going days without a drink. The doctor took the cup from me and lifted it onto the side, after seeing how much I was struggling with my strength.

She then swiftly moved back out of the room wordlessly, giving me time to thank the visitor who had stayed with me all night.

"This is probably a stupid question," he started in that glorious Scottish accent and I couldn't deny that it was rather sexy on him. "But…how are you feeling?" He asked hesitantly, as he took a seat in the chair to the left of my bedside.

Surprisingly, he looked quite natural sat in the plain, plastic chair, though it was sure to have been uncomfortable, but he didn't moan about it, as he sat waiting patiently for my response to his question. But unknown to him, I was still desperately trying to get my head around him being here at all, considering just how famous he was.

Because this time last year, I hadn't even believed that any of this would ever happen, I didn't realise the state that I was going to get myself in the mess that I had, without everything else that happened.

And I certainly didn't imagine that as I became more and more anguished over the following year that I would have found myself sat in a Los Angeles hospital, having been found by Gerard Butler.

* * *

**Okay, so I wasn't sure where to stop it, but I thought that this would be a pretty good place, considering everything that is about to happen in the story. I really hoped you liked it, and I really hoped you like the story so far! Please review, as review's make me happy, and also, I'd like to know what sort of things I should work on as I worked really hard on this as my spelling is terrible! Hope you liked the concept! More to come soon enough. :)**


	2. Released

**Okay, so here's the second chapter. Hope you like! :)**

* * *

_You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, "I release the need for this in my life."_

-Wayne Dwyer

**Discharge**

I stayed in hospital for the next week, and the truth was, it was quite unbearable considering how I was lodged in the same room the whole time. I was only allowed to walk short distances in the hospital, so I often found myself desperate to escape for a short walk to the toilet or even just to collect some magazines from the waiting room, so that I had something to read.

By the time that Monday came, a whole week after I had found myself here, I was finding that I was eager to get out, considering just how much rest I had received in the last week. I felt as though I hadn't slept as much in my life as I had in this last week, and there was only so much rest I could take.

Gerard had stopped by once more after being brought into hospital and I appreciated a visitor more than anything, considering just how bored I was becoming, as this week had felt the longest of my life. He was sweet enough to bring a bouquet of flowers with him, and I had to admit that they had definitely freshened up the place, considering how dismal the room had looked.

He didn't stay long, but it was understandable considering how busy he must have been, what with how many films he was currently rumoured to be filming, but it was the thought that counted. I hardly knew anyone in Los Angeles as it was, so despite how he only came once, I appreciated a visitor none-the-less.

As I awoke on Monday morning, it took me a few seconds to remember that I was supposed to be going home today, and as soon as I realised, I couldn't help but feel apprehensive, despite how I wanted to go home, because I realised that being discharged today would mean attempting to move onwards, despite the constant temptation to give in and go back onto the drugs, and I realised that I would struggle to overcome such urges. I didn't have faith in myself, so I found it difficult to believe that I would be able to control such temptation, even when I tried to think of the reason why I wanted to become a better person, because this wasn't just all for me.

It was for little Sebastian too, and as my mind raced whilst I busied myself in tidying up my room in the morning, my mind wandered back to him, thinking about my little boy, thinking about where he could be right now. He would have nearly been six months old now, and I realised with a bittersweet realisation that he was probably so much happier, now that he was with someone, a family that could easily provide for him. I had nothing to provide him with, no money, no security, nothing, and that was the very reason on why I had decided to give him up, wishing him a better life.

I sighed heavily as I realised sadly that I missed him deeply though, and that emotion only doubled over more and more with each passing day, as I wondered what he could be doing and whether or not he was happy. I had to believe that he was happy; because that was the only way I could go on.

As I sat waiting for somebody to come and tell me some news, I chose to stay in my hospital gown, rather than dress in my own clothes, despite how much I craved to get out of it, and waited to be told for definite that I was going home, before I got dressed properly and got myself too excited.

I smiled as Doctor Kelly Andrews walked into the room, praying that she would bring the news that I desperately wanted to hear. She had been looking after me for the whole of the week, and having her here was almost like a comfort now, considering how kind she was.

She flicked through my file, perched at the end of my bed busily, seemingly unaware of the anticipation that I was feeling as I awaited news of what today would bring. I tried to be patient, perched on the bed as I waited for her to finish looking through my file, but it seemed to be taking far too long, and so my impatience took over.

"Will I be going home today?"

Kelly smiled in response to my question, clearly sensing the desperation to finally be able to get out of here for herself through my voice, whilst she finished up looking through my file, and finally releasing it, putting it back in the small container at the foot of my bed, before she finally responded with a simple; "Yes, I should think you'll be allowed to leave in a few hours, but there's some paperwork that we need you to sign, so I shall just pop out and get it." She added with an encouraging smile, before she quickly fled the room, in her haste to bring the paperwork to me so that I could finally go.

I appreciated her haste, considering how desperately I wanted to get out of here. I hated hospitals at the best of times, and luckily, I hadn't spent a single night in here, or at least, I hadn't up until now.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Miss Davies, herself!" A voice was laced with sheer disgust, as though they couldn't believe what they were seeing in front of them, and I instantly recognised the girly voice before I had even bothered to look up, which was why I had frozen automatically from shock, not expecting to hear her voice. The voice sounded as though it belonged to Hannah Bridlington, the woman I had employed as my agent, but surely…it couldn't be, right? Not when she was meant to be in London right now, a lot busier with other projects, whilst I was holidaying in LA, enjoying the sun and…

"Oh god," I moaned sadly as soon as I looked up, recognising the small figure that belonged to Hannah. She might have been smaller than me and almost as thin as me too, and she certainly didn't look as though she had enough strength within her to frighten anything more than a mouse, but looks were definitely not to be judged. The reason I had employed her as my agent was because she was amazing, and because she could properly stand up for herself, which was the main reason for me suddenly feeling so frightened as she stomped her way up to me, her dark eyes blazing with fury with every stomp that she made with her bony feet.

"You have got some _serious_ explaining to do, young lady." She spat angrily in her New York accent, and somehow, even though the accent was kind and normally soothed, it only managed to add even more animosity to her tone as she talked down to me.

She was right to be angry with me considering everything she had done for me. She had helped me win the part of Christine for one thing, and that was one role in my career that had definitely helped me along my career. She had also helped me to publish my first book, _Tainted Soul_, and I realised that if it wasn't for her, then I wouldn't have even achieved such glory, so by falling from grace as much as I had, she had every right to scream and shout at me.

"I'm sorry," I apologised, sighing heavily as I tried to avoid the furious dagger glares she was throwing at me as she waited for some sort of explanation to slip past my lips, even there wasn't one to give. I'd given in, falling back into the addiction that I had found too irresistible, and although Hannah knew this had been bad, I doubted that she had believed it to have been _this_ bad.

Finally, her dark eyes softened, and her eyes widened from the furious glare she had been directing to me.

I tore my eyes away from the dull white of the bed sheets, and moved my eyes upwards, searching for her reaction. Hannah was a very pretty woman, and she looked younger than what she was, considering how she was thirty years old. I doubted anybody would have believed that, given how amazing she looked. At first glance, she seemed to look more like twenty five, at the very most. She was pretty, even without make-up on, and her naturally perfectly shaped eyebrows were thin and blonde, matching the colour of her bright blonde hair, which for today, had been tied up into a neat looking bun

She wore nothing of interest; a creamy vest top, paired off with some darkened, skinny jeans, but she still managed to look as though she was walking down some sort of amazing catwalk, and I wondered if she hadn't decided to take up running an agency, whether or not she would have moved onto modelling, considering just how pretty she was. I noticed how she was also wearing a black, designer shoulder bag, the only evidence of how fortunate she was.

Her lips, made to look fuller by the use of bright pink lipstick turned downwards into a regretful smile, as she saw that despite the façade I had put up for the last three months, since giving Sebastian up three months ago, I still wasn't over it. A part of me couldn't help but wonder if I ever would be, if I would ever be able to be fully happy until my son was back in the safety of my arms, where he belonged.

"Babe," her voice attempted to sooth me sadly, trying to bring comfort even when she realised she couldn't. "It's been three whole _months_, and of course I understand what you're going through." She insisted, even though her words made me want to scoff selfishly and call her a poor liar.

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, and dropped my gaze, attempting to shift my memories onto anything, anything but the way he had felt in my arms, as though he truly had belonged there. I had missed him so much, but I had chosen to give him up, so that I make a life for myself, one where I could eventually make him proud, and the more that I thought about it, the more that it felt as though I wouldn't be able to do any of that without him by my side, but he had long gone now.

"Okay, I'm not going to lie; I don't know what you're going through. I'm lucky enough to know happiness, having found the right person and married, but that will happen to you too someday babe. And I know that it doesn't feel like it now, but it will happen one day, and maybe then, you'll manage to find Sebastian again, but for now, you're meant to be making him proud. I hardly doubt you can do that with the way you're acting now, and not talking about what you're going through is only going to make you more upset."

She was right, of course she was, but then she usually was, considering how wise she could be. I wished to god I could have the same as faith as her, but right now, I couldn't seem to sense that anything good would come out of anything that I did any longer. I was at the lowest point, and I wasn't sure what I could do now to turn my life around. I realised that these would probably be the most trying months of my life so far.

I forced a nod anyway, attempting an agreement with her anyway, despite how much my head ached to disagree with her, because it still seemed to me that I was still firmly being pulled back into a web of darkness and misery, with no sight of a bright light at the end of my travels to reach for.

"I understand you're upset, but taking drugs isn't going to do anything for your career either. If you want to make Sebastian proud, then the best thing you can do is get yourself sorted, and fight back. Because trust me, there are already a few reports about your drug overdose, and it really doesn't look good on you."

"Okay, okay, I know, you're right." I insisted, wanting to drop the conversation now and move on.

I understood why she was talking to me about it all, of course I did. I realised that she probably believed that by talking to me about things, about how I was feeling and getting me to open up more, it would stop me from doing something stupid, but despite her logic, she couldn't have been more wrong. Talking about feelings and emotions was easy for her, and she did it all the time, but with me, it just ended up upsetting me even more.

"Good, well I don't want to hear any more of this." She warned me anxiously, making it clear that she would take no more of my troubles. "I'm your friend, most certainly, but I'm also your agent, and it's my job to make sure that your career is going the right way, and that's not going to happen if drugs are involved."

"Hannah, I get the point." I promised her bluntly.

She nodded again, though she still eyed me with suspicious, causing me to frown in response as she fussed over me anxiously. It was nice to see that she cared about me, and that she was even here at all, considering how wise she was, but I had more important questions, rather than just talking of the mistake I had made.

"How comes you're in LA anyway? I thought you were tied up in London for the next few weeks?"

She shrugged, playing idly with the bouquet of flowers that Gerard had brought in the last time that he had come in. They looked pretty, perched on the dull grey, bedside table, and the striking sunflowers made the baby pink and violet purple roses stand out even more.

"No, I managed to get out of it, switch some things around so that I could come and see you, well, to sort you out more than anything actually…anyway, these are very pretty flowers, I must say. Who brought you these?" She pestered nosily.

"Er…well, let's just say, when I overdosed, I was found by Gerard Butler, and he brought me them on a visit."

She spun back around on the spot, her eyes wide from shock, and she raised an eyebrow in response. "Wait a minute…you mean the actual Gerard Butler, as in the actual Hollywood actor?"

I smiled in response to the way she described him, because I could tell that she didn't properly believe me that it was him, which was understandable considering just how famous he was. I had the very same reaction when he walked through the hospital door, and I couldn't help but wonder if I was still dreaming at first.

"That's the one," I insisted with a sly smile. "He stayed with me when the ambulance came, and waited until I woke up, and then he came back and visited me earlier in the week, and he brought some flowers too, which was nice of him."

"I see," she replied suspiciously, making me roll my eyes in response. Hannah was one of these people who believed that casual gifts like an innocent bouquet of flowers always meant something, even when it didn't at all, and was actually just a friendly gesture.

As soon as Doctor Andrews shifted back into the room, I instantly looked round at her expectantly, hoping that she would be coming back with some good news, considering how desperate I was at getting out of here. She smiled softly as she glanced across and saw me staring, waiting for news. "You'll be pleased to know that you're definitely being discharged today." She confirmed.

I smiled in response, trying to ignore the clenching sensation tightening in my stomach. I was happy that I was getting out of here, but I was also terrified too, considering how easy it would be to mess everything up again and then I realised that that would mean letting everybody down again and I certainly didn't want that.

"Oh, that's brilliant news," Hannah enthused from beside me, ignoring how tense I had become as I wondered aimlessly to myself on how I would be able to control myself, considering how easy it would be to just slip. I didn't have any urge to take any drugs now, which was surely a good thing, but I couldn't help but wonder if that would only be for a short time. I realised that soon enough I would start recognising withdrawal signs, and I hoped that I would be strong enough to fight against it.

The Doctor quickly left the room then, leaving Hannah and me alone together so that I could have time to change into my own, clean clothes, and relief flooded me the moment that I felt the comfort of my own clothes around me, because after a week of being stuck in hospital gowns, it was a comfort to be able to wear what I wanted to. I put on a loose fitted, white vest, paired off with a thin, silk maxi style skirt, shaded in oily grey, with small, black shorts underneath to tuck the vest in.

Hannah took one look at the trainers that I was holding in my hands, and disregarded them with disgust. "Egh! They're disgusting!"

I couldn't contain the roll of my eyes in response, considering just how melodramatic she sounded. As far as I was concerned, trainers were the best thing to wear, considering just how comfortable they were, but I'd anticipated Hannah disagreeing with me, considering how much appearance mattered to her. "No, no, these are far better."

I looked round at her, as she lifted up a pair of bright red, patent platform heels, and gasped in response. I would hardly have called them far better, considering how high the heel was! They looked like a death sentence, more than anything, especially considering how awful I walked in any heels.

"Are you joking with me, Hannah?" I complained furiously. "I seriously can't wear them! I shall end up breaking my leg or something by wearing them, and then I'll have to spend even more time in hospital."

"Jeez, you're so melodramatic!"

"No, really, I'm not!" I huffed. "I'd much prefer to wear my comfortable trainers, thank you very much!"

"Well that might be so, but just because you would prefer to wear them; it doesn't mean I shall let you." She snapped determinedly, putting aside the heels beside me on the bed before folding her arms across her chest stubbornly. "You would look _far_ better in the heels, and considering you're in Hollywood, darling, you should be aiming to try and make the best impression!"

I huffed. "Yes, because walking around LA in patent red heels, rather than in a pair of trainers is going to make such a difference to my career, isn't it? Right!"

"Oh, but it is," she insisted firmly, her eyes widening in response, like they always did when she was about to make a massively big point, just to make sure that I'd understand what she was getting at. "You see, your trainers are disgusting-"

"Wow, thanks Hannah!"

"They are _disgusting,_" she chose to empathise the word once more, completely ignoring my aggravated interruption. "They're falling to bits, and they look as though you've been messing around in a muddy field somewhere, and that scruffy look certainly isn't going to do you any favours, especially not with the…well, you know…the drugs too." She tried to point out as politely as she knew how.

I shook my head in response, trying to hold back a frown as I stared down at my old Nike trainers. Okay, so what used to be white had turned into a dull grey, and there were small splashes of mud on either side of the trainers, as well as the tiniest hole peeking through at the very front of my shoe, but that was all. They were my favourite pair of shoes, because not only were they extremely comfortable, but they had been a present from my Nan, shortly before she died too.

"And also, it just looks as though you haven't got any money and as though you're poor, which really isn't attractive around Hollywood."

"Yes, but I thought the point was that I kind of am poor? I don't see how not looking poor is going to make my reputation any better, considering…well considering, I don't even have one in LA."

"Well, that's exactly it." She pointed out with a simple shrug of her shoulders. "You haven't got a reputation around here yet, but you soon will have, if you walk around in them, and one sniff of your drug overdose and that will be it. It's different back in London, because people already know how hard you've worked to get where you are. That is why appearance is everything, and why you simply _have_ to wear them heels, if you want to get noticed."

I rolled my eyes as she grabbed the pair of trainers from the comfort of my lap, wondering silently if getting noticed was really what I wanted at all, considering how that wasn't really the idea. I was a writer and an actress, and nothing else interested me at all. I hated making public appearances as Hannah liked to call them, because they bored me. I would have much preferred to be sat at home, typing up new ideas for a fantastic new book, or even auditioning for that matter, but I understood why she liked me to do them, despite how reserved I was in the public eye.

"Remind me why it is that I want to be noticed?"

She frowned at me in response, as though I had somehow asked this question a million times before, when really, I hadn't asked such a thing for a very long time, and in reality, was just curiously asking to be reminded why on earth being noticed was such a positive thing, considering how being noticed used to be the last thing that I wanted.

"You want to be noticed because it means that more and more people will begin to regard you, and as that happens, people will be curious as to find out what it is that you do, which is where I come in, and try and get my hands on as many ventures as possible for you, to get your name out there." She babbled on excitedly as she carelessly threw the trainers onto the chair, making me frown sadly in response, considering how little she seemed to care when it came to personal belongings sometimes.

"Okay…" I trailed of, thinking about the questions I wanted to ask in response to that, considering how amazing Hannah was with everything. She always seemed to have everything figured out, which was what made her such an amazing agent. "And what sort of ventures were you thinking?"

"Oh, I have loads of ideas in mind for you!" She clapped enthusiastically, an excited grinning taking place on her face.

I laughed in response, before I could stop myself, because it was sweet to get her more excited than me, considering how it was my career, and not hers, but again, her enthusiasm was what often helped to drive me forwards.

"You're an amazing singer Charlie, there's no doubt about that." She insisted confidently, making me smile in response. I couldn't deny that I loved singing almost as much as I loved writing, and I found myself hoping that she was going to say that this was an interest that I should focus on too. "I think you should definitely be focusing on that, especially with how well you did in Phantom of the Opera in London. It would also be a brilliant starting point for your career over here. I also think you definitely should think about publishing Tainted Soul over here too, considering how well it sold back in the UK. I was thinking of making a few loose appearances in films first though, just to get your name out there more than anything."

I grinned at her in response as she talked, because it sounded to me like she pretty much had everything figured out, considering things, and as she was my agent, I realised that I could easily trust her to make the right decisions, because so far, I had really needed to rely on her support, and having her around.

"Well it sounds as though you have everything figured out, so I shall leave the rest to you." I insisted. "But I have a question, how am I expected to do all of that when I'm meant to be in the UK in a few weeks, promoting _Eternity_, the follow-up to Tainted Soul."

"Yes, I did think of that." She admitted sheepishly. "I thought that maybe that should be put on hold for the moment, at least until you bring out Tainted Soul over here, so then the second book can be released a little more closer to each other in Europe and the US, as that would make more sense."

I nodded in response, accepting her opinion easily, because that did make sense, and I realised that she was the best person to be able to judge on what made more sense considering my career.

I got my belongings together then, and stuffed my trainers into a bag despite how much Hannah protested that I should just get rid of them and buy some new converses to replace them if they were that special to me, but I ignored her minor sniping and continued onwards with my packing.

A knock interrupted my packing, and I turned around in surprise, looking to see who had come to see me before I went, curious as to see who it was, given that I didn't think anyone would have come to see me, as there was nobody else that I was expecting.

I smiled in pleasant surprise to see Gerard stood at the door, looking around awkwardly as though he didn't want to interrupt anything. I certainly hadn't expected to see him again, but it was nice to see him again, considering how he didn't really have to bother coming back to see me again at all.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." He asked sincerely, whilst he stood frozen at the door, looking around at both Hannah and I.

He looked as casual as the two other times he had visited me, wearing a loose fit, sea blue tee shirt with long sleeves, and one that easily defined his muscles through the thin tee that he was wearing. He was wearing faded denim jeans, and plain, grey trainers. His hair also looked a little more windswept today, as though it was styled more naturally, and he looked as though he was a few days overdue a shave, though he always seemed to look better with the rugged look, from what I could tell at looking pictures of him in different magazines.

"No, not at all," I quickly insisted, trying my best to ignore the way that Hannah was roaming her eyes over his body eagerly from beside me, as though she couldn't quite remember how to move her eyes away from him and stop herself from undressing him with her eyes the whole time she did.

I quickly stepped myself down from the bed where I had been sat since finishing up getting ready, before she could continue on staring at him in such a way, and instantly regretted such a move. My feet wobbled automatically, making me stumble backwards slightly as I failed to collect my balance, and Hannah's hand instantly shot out, helping me before I could fall over properly.

Instantly, a hot flush circulated around my body, and quickly made its way up to my face, where it coloured my cheeks with an obvious blush, instantly showing my embarrassment at making an idiot out of myself in front of Gerard. I wouldn't have cared if I knew him well, considering how I was often clumsy in front of people I knew, because it was something that just seemed to come natural to me, but because of who he was, and how I hardly knew him, it made it so much more embarrassing. He was a celebrity, a famous actor, and within seconds, I had managed to almost fall over.

"Woops," I sighed. "Err…Gerard; this is Hannah Bridlington, my agent." I quickly ushered out; desperate to change the subject from my falling over, and it seemed that introducing one another made more sense as a conversation starter.

He smiled at her, offering his hand to shake, and this only seemed to make her eyes roam down his body eagerly in response, and I fought back a smile, considering just how badly she was doing at keeping her flirting under wraps. Though, in all fairness, it was understandable, considering how good looking he was, and though she was married, there was no harm in checking him out, right?

"It's nice to meet you," he insisted, seeming completely unaware of her constant staring, though I highly doubted that considering just how obvious she was making. It seemed likelier that he was just attempting to ignore it, considering just how badly she was doing it, and I didn't blame him, despite how amazingly beautiful Hannah actually was. I was amazed that anybody would have been able to resist her naturally good looks.

"Yeah, and you," she replied politely, looking as though she was finally finished taking in every little thing about him, and in particular, his body. "So my friend was telling me all about your glorified moment. She told me all about you being her hero of the moment." She spelled it out to him, when he didn't quite understand about this so-called glory moment, and I groaned instantly in response, considering just how corny it sounded.

"Hannah, seriously! I didn't, I just kind of err…well, told her about…that you were there to…call the ambulance and that…" I trailed off quickly, seeing that I was making it worse, because of just how badly I was stuttering. Hannah really wasn't making this any less embarrassing either, considering things.

I was relieved when I heard him laugh in response, though whether he was laughing at Hannah's corny observation, or my embarrassment due to her comments, I wasn't too sure.

"Well, I wouldn't quite call it that." He insisted shyly, looking rather embarrassed as he ran a hand through the top of his thick hair, and making it look even messier than it already looked before. "But I just wanted to help really; I was quite worried when I found her, as she was out-cold."

Hannah turned and threw a glare at me in response, her dark eyes looking quite vicious as she scowled at me bitterly in response to what I had done to myself that night, and I could only smile coyly at her in response, hoping she wouldn't be too tempted to kill me, considering how much of her reputation she was putting on me in trusting me that this wasn't going to happen again.

"Yes, you'll come to see that's the thing with Charlie, you see; when she does something, she liked to go out the whole way, and achieve it fully, rather than just have a half-hearted attempt at it, isn't that right?"

I frowned in response, turning away from her as I grabbed my bags together, and ignoring her sarcastic, furious comment, because I realised that it was understandable, considering how stupid it had been. She was right to still be angry with me, because she only wanted the best for me, and I had let her down.

"Look…we're probably going to go back to Hannah's place now," I admitted, realising that was more than likely, considering I hadn't yet managed to buy my own house out here yet, considering how little money I had. "But you're welcome to come over if you want, Gerard, for a drink or whatever. It's the least we could do considering how you were the one to find me that night." I insisted.

He smiled in response. "You don't owe me anything; honestly, I'm just relieved that I found you in time. But if you have coffee, then that would be good. You can both call me Gerry too, I prefer that." He insisted with a smile.

"Oh, we have loads of coffee. I always drink coffee, so I'm constantly purchasing some," Hannah insisted in an over delighted tone of voice.

He just smiled in response, seemingly unconcerned by her constant over enthusiasm, and began to make his way out of the room, seeing that we were both ready to leave, and it gave Hannah enough time to turn back to me and chatter excitedly.

"I never realised how actually _fit_ he is!" She exclaimed in the sharpest whisper, keeping her voice down as much as possible, so that he didn't hear her, though I couldn't help but doubt that he couldn't, considering just how urgent her tone was. "It's crazy, and I can't believe that you of all people, considering how you're single are not trying to get yourself in there!"

I pulled a face in response, before I could stop myself.

"Hannah, you're my agent, not my best friend, remember? So that means you should be warning me off him, considering how the most important thing right now is to focus on my career, which I'm sure you'd agree with. And secondly, I'm _twenty_ years old! He's like what…twenty years older than me, which is wrong, even if I did find him completely irresistible, which I don't by the way, because he's a lot older than me, and I'm not interested in finding love anyway. I want to be focusing on my career right now, nothing more." I warned her.

She nodded in response, realising that I was right with what I was saying, and she took deep breaths, as though trying to calm her excitement.

"No, no, you're right, you're right, I'm your agent, and that means I should be focused. I should be telling you to focus on nothing but your career, and not some sexy man with a buff six pack…oh, but he's so fit, Charlie!"

"Seriously, he isn't _that_ fit," I insisted, making her gasp in horror in response, as though I had just spoken the biggest insult to her, and I couldn't contain the roll of my eyes in response. "Jesus Hannah, chill out, he's just a man! Truth be told, I'd much prefer have Robert Pattinson as my hero of the moment, as you put it." I admitted honestly, because the truth was, I found him much fitter than Gerry, but then, I guess that was more because I was quite different to most women, and I was sure that most people would have disagreed with me.

"Ewe."

I laughed in response to the unimpressed scowl Hannah was pulling because of my mention of preffering Robert Pattinson, but then I expected that very reaction from her anyway, considering her lack of patience with anything to do with him, his acting, or anything that he chose to undertake in his career for that matter.

We left the room quickly, and I followed behind Hannah, realising her sheer delight in being the one closer to Gerry, considering how 'fit' she founded him. I watched with mild amusement, as they walked along the ward of the hospital, with Hannah talking constantly to him, and I couldn't help but laugh as I watched as she stared down at his body every single time that he looked away from her, to somewhere else. As I followed onwards, I almost felt sorry for the man…almost.

* * *

**Okay, really hoped you like the chapter! :) I know not much happened in this chapter, but I promise you more will happen in the next one, and a little more detail will be given about Charlie and what exactly happened to her, for her to spiral out of control like she has, which will help in understanding the character a little more. :) Until next time...review please!**


	3. Friends

**Right, here's chapter three, where we get to find out more about Charlie and her past! I hope you like! :)**

* * *

**Friends**

_Between men and women there is no friendship possible. _

_There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship._

-Oscar Wilde

I couldn't contain my awe as we stepped outside the hospital, because as soon as I had reached Hannah's car, I couldn't help but gaze on in admiration. It was a Mini Coupe, painted in a chilly red, and despite how small the car was, it looked amazing. I loved Mini cars, but I hadn't known that Hannah owned one, considering how she only had a small, old fashioned Mini car back in England that looked as though it was ready to fall apart.

I couldn't help but be impressed as we got into her car, because it smelt amazing, and I realised that she probably hadn't had the car long. The seats were so comfortable too, and I began to realise that Hannah was probably a lot richer than what I had first thought her to be, considering how downplayed her lifestyle was back in the UK, compared to over here.

Hannah made it obvious to me the whole time that we were in the car that she wouldn't be accepting my behaviour anymore, which was fair enough, considering all of the trouble that I had made myself in getting involved with drugs. She insisted that I should go to rehab for the next couple of weeks, and then attend a few rehab meetings the following weeks afterwards, to check on how I was coping, if I truly wanted to sort myself out properly, and I could do nothing but agree, despite how difficult I knew it would be to get clean.

Gerry followed in his own car from behind, careful not to be noticed, considering just how well known he was. I felt a little sympathy for him, considering how famous he was, because the moment we stepped out of the hospital, he kept his head down and his sunglasses on, and I realised it was probably because he didn't want to be recognised, considering how often he was photographed just walking down the street and trying to get on with normal things.

That feeling soon doubled over the moment that we parked up outside the front of her house, just in front of the garage, because it was the most glorious house I had ever set my eyes on, despite how I realised that there was probably even more amazing, and even bigger houses in Los Angeles.

The house looked like a small villa, and as we stepped out of her car, I couldn't help but forget that we were in Los Angeles. With the sun shining down, bringing blissful heat along with it, and the beautiful, tropical trees perched around the house; it reminded you of Spain or Greece, especially with just how warm it was today.

The exterior of the house was painted in a pale white, and creamy patio welcomed us to the dark wooden gate of the house, signalling the front entrance of the house. I followed her into the gate, leaving Gerry to park his car alongside Hannah's.

I tried not to stare for too long, despite how amazing his car was too. He drove a Mercedes, shaded in sea blue.

As soon as we walked through the gate, a small patio welcomed us home. On the right, perched above the sandy brown patio squares sat a wooden table, with two creamy coloured, straw chairs perched around each side of it. The windows in each room were big, and rectangle shaped, with sea blue folder style doors placed beside the window. In front, a bright yellow front door stood out from the plain exterior of the house.

Gerry followed us from the gate, and I couldn't help but stare at the beautiful villa, considering how lovely it looked.

"You have an absolutely amazing house, Hannah." I told her in awe, as I followed her in through the front door, with Gerry just behind us.

She grinned in response, as she waited beside the door whilst we headed inside, before shutting the door behind us.

The hallway of her house was quite small and a little thin, and there was no stairs as it was a one floor, bungalow style house. The walls were painted in the same plain, creamy colour, similar to the outside which matched the rectangle rug perched in the middle of the room, sat above slick, dark oak wooden flooring. There was a long, wooden bench to sit on perched on the left side of the hallway, with two, plain, white cushions placed on either side of the bench, and sat beneath a long, rectangle shaped wooden mirror, hung proudly on the wall.

I followed her into a room on the right of the hallway, which was a quite large kitchen, with brown, cream and grey coloured patio flooring. The door was shaped like an arch, and was on the far right of the room. There was a cabinet on the right, filled with plenty of things, such as pictures, and cups and keys, and the top ledge of the cabinet was filled with thimbles from various places.

The kitchen was to the left of the room, and a small, square table was perched in the middle of it, with two, lightly brown wooden high chairs placed on either side, matching the colour of the high table. The kitchen cabinets were perched at the back of the kitchen, and matched the creamy white walls. The tops of the cabinets were coloured in a lightened grey, and were made of sparkling marble.

At the far end of the room, perched besides a back window, was a small, rounded table, with four, light brown, straw chairs perched around it.

Hannah insisted that we sat at the back of the house, despite my attempts to help her with the drinks, so I allowed her to guide the two of us through to another room, on the left of the hallway.

It was styled a little like a living room, though the room was a little empty. On the right of the room, were a couple of vintage looking armchairs, perched above an oily black rug, and in the very centre of the room were two more vintage armchairs, sat in front of each other, with a footstool in the middle of the room, sat above a plain, cream rug. There was also two pairs of white, glass doors perched at the back of her house, and I followed her through as she guided us out to a small patio area, facing the massive pool area in her back yard, which was rectangle shaped.

I stared out in amazement as I sat myself down in a light brown, straw armchair, propped up with a couple of pillows. There was a wooden table sat in the middle, and another two armchairs sat facing me.

Gerry sat opposite, still busy talking to Hannah, who appeared to be fussing over him a little, and I couldn't help but smirk in response, as she quickly swept away to go back to the kitchen and get our drinks.

"Is she always like that?" Gerry commented lightly when Hannah was gone, clearly noticing that she was making a fuss just as much as I had realised she was.

"Err…no, just around you." I replied truthfully, grinning in response.

"Yeah, that makes more sense." He joked, looking quite embarrassed about being told that, and I couldn't help but smile in response, considering just how over-the-top Hannah could be sometimes. Even when we had gotten here, she still couldn't seem to find a way of keeping her eyes off of him.

I stared down at my nails, noticing that they looked just as grubby as they always did, much to Hannah's dismay, considering how much appearance meant to her, but what with the things that had happened in the last few weeks in my life, the appearance of my nails had been the furthest thing from my mind.

"How are you feeling today anyway?" Gerry suddenly asked in a soft manner, changing the subject from Hannah's less than subtle flirting with her eyes, and I couldn't fight the urge to glance upwards, and discerning what emotion lay there.

He was watching me with a kind look in his eyes, one that made me realise that he wasn't just asking the question to help create general chit-chat, and that he genuinely was concerned about how I was feeling, considering what had happened to me over a week ago. I wasn't sure if I'd have bothered to reply honestly at all, if he had just asked to make conversation, like most people did, rather than because they actually cared.

"Urm…" I trailed off as I stared back down at my hands, like I always did when I talked about my feelings, because it always seemed to be a lot easier when I was avoiding eye contact, and I began to fiddle with the ring situated on my left hand, sat proudly on my middle finger, as the sparkling cubic zirconia stoned shimmered even more each time that it caught the sun. I found it amusing to look at, considering how beautiful it was, despite the promise that it stood for. A promise ring brought for me by the one person who had ended up almost ruining my life all together.

"Well, I feel better than I did a week ago." I insisted as confidently as I could, despite how hesitant I sounded. "I feel quite embarrassed about what happened, but I feel quite nervous too, because I realise that now that I'm out of hospital, I can no longer rely on the medication they were giving me to slowly wean me off of it, so…I guess I'm also feeling a little apprehensive, considering things…because I know the cravings will eventually come back." I explained.

I saw him nod in response in the corner of my eye.

"It's pretty understandable to feel the way you do," he commented lightly, though I could hear an undertone to his voice as he spoke, one that offered comfort, and I realised that my lack of confidence in believing I could get through this was probably obvious to him, and not just to me.

"I take it then that wasn't the first time you've taken drugs?"

"Uh…yeah, you could say that." I forced myself to confess, despite how embarrassed I felt in my admission, because I realised that anyone else would automatically judge me for the mess I had gotten myself in, and despite how it was my own life that I was messing up, I couldn't help but believe that everyone had the right to judge me, considering what a mess I had gotten myself into.

Drugs seemed to have the power to block everything that I didn't want to feel, and though they only blocked everything out for a short time, like all of the hurt from everything that had happened, all of the guilt from taking drugs in the first place; I just continued taking it, before I could start to feel again. Even now, it felt _wrong_ somehow, talking about my emotions, considering how long I'd tried to block it all out.

"So, if you don't mind me asking…what made you start taking drugs in the first place exactly? I was just curious, because I'm the last person to be able to judge, because I've been there. Not with drugs or anything like that, but I used to drink a lot." Gerry admitted a little sheepishly, instantly getting my attention.

"So you were an alcoholic?" I asked bluntly, more out of surprise than anything else, because there was little that I knew about Gerry or his life. Whenever I saw his face in a magazine, I paid little attention to him, flicking through to the celebrities that I preferred to read about.

He shrugged. "Yeah, I guess I was for a while…"

"But I remember being introduced to you at the Soccer Aid game, and then I met you again at the final of the show, and you seemed pretty clued up, if you don't mind me saying. Much more than I was, when I was younger." He admitted confidently.

I pursed my lips together as I thought about the main reasons for me choosing to create this mess in my life, and for choosing to take drugs in the first place. One of the main reasons had obviously been because of me giving up my little boy, Sebastian, but it had been because of deeper reasons than that too. It had been because of Callum leaving too, at a time when I needed him the most, and he had made it obvious how he felt about me the moment that he chose to walk away from me.

I pondered on everything that had caused me to do this to myself, and wondered if I could have truly been _that_ honest with him? Few knew about the little boy I had given up, because I had wanted to keep it as secret as possible. I had wanted to keep the pregnancy as much of a secret was possible, and I had done well keeping it that way throughout most of the pregnancy, considering how my career had just been starting to take off.

But the thing was, I hardly knew Gerry and yet despite that, the couple of times that I had spoken to him, here and at the hospital, I had been more honest with him that I had with most people, and I guessed that was a good thing, considering how difficult I found it all to talk about my feelings.

But then, was I even ready to mention Sebastian's name again?

After all, it was one thing thinking about him, and wondering what he might have been doing, but I still found talking about him rather difficult, because I just missed him so much. He was most definitely the main cause of all of this pain that had built up inside me and all of that guilt too.

"A lot of things happened to me since then, a lot of…well, I suppose you could say there were a lot of personal things I went through." I finally forced the confession out from my mouth, and I couldn't help but twiddle with my fingers nervously as I talked, considering how little I talked about it.

"Ah, I see, it's fair enough if you don't want to talk about it then." He quickly insisted, seeing how anxious the topic was making me.

"No, no, it's not really like that. I'm just…not used to talking about it, to be honest."

"It's okay; you don't have to explain yourself to me."

I forced a smile back in response, before dropping my gaze again just as quickly, because the truth was, I had almost wanted to tell him, because for the first time since it had happened, I actually wanted to talk about it, and that was a feeling that I had long forgotten since taking the drugs.

"No actually…" I pondered, trailing off as I pursed my lips together in a tight line, whilst I thought. "No, I would like to tell you, but that's if…well, if you didn't mind listening? It's a bit of a long story." I tried to joke, and I was relieved on glancing upwards, to see him smiling, realising that I had been kidding.

"Basically…I had this ex that I got back with, after I broke up with a boyfriend, and he was my first love, so we were kind of trying to give things another go." I explained, throwing small glances at him as I talked. "He went off to university, but we stayed together, but then…I basically found out I was pregnant by accident, and I only found out after he dumped me. I told him that I was pregnant, and…as you can imagine, he wasn't thrilled, and he wanted me to get rid of it, but I chickened out of it. So I decided to keep the baby, and he made it perfectly clear to me that he wanted nothing to do with it." I quickly explained, wanting to get past the Callum part of the story as quickly as possible, considering just how much I hated talking about him now, and just hated him in general for that matter.

I took a deep breath and continued onwards, avoiding his eyes as I continued talked, because I found it much easier to talk as I stared down at the pebbled flooring, below my patent red heels instead.

"So anyway, I kept the baby, and I never heard from Callum again. I managed to pull the pregnancy off for as long as I could, but wearing loose dresses and tops, and because it was winter anyway, I was always wearing more clothes to keep warm anyway, so it was pretty easy to get away with it. The thing was when I got pregnant, my career was just taking off, so I realised that I needed to keep it a secret, considering how I was only just beginning to get noticed. And then the show came along, and I realised that I wouldn't properly be able to provide for the baby, not really. I didn't exactly have much money, and I didn't want the baby growing up with nothing, when it could have had a much better life somewhere else. And then, a few weeks later, I had Sebastian."

I paused for a moment to look back up at him to see his reaction, because a part of me was curious, considering how hardly anyone knew about Sebastian, and I had never told anyone about it as properly and as detailed as I was now. He seemed quite relaxed though, waiting patiently for me to continue onwards with my story, and it gave me enough courage to want to continue talking about, considering how long it had been since trying to pretend none of it ever happened.

"I gave him away and at first, I was allowed to stay in contact with him for a while, whilst he got settled in, but then after a few weeks, and once he was happy, I was banned from seeing him again, as they thought it might start making him confused if I kept coming back and seeing him over the years." I confessed, before finally finishing up about what had happened.

I took a deep breathe, taking a second to ponder on just how it felt to finally be free of the revelation that I had been holding back from practically everyone, apart from Hannah, and a few family members. I realised that I felt relieved to have finally told someone, because in talking about it, it felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and it felt pleasant to know that that was one more person I could talk to about it, and would understand how I'm feeling.

He nodded in response, taking a moment or two to think on what I had said. "Well, it's understandable that it's had this effect on you. I can't exactly turn around to you and pretend that I know what you're going through, because I don't." He admitted bluntly, making me smile a little in response.

"But I understand why you probably did it. I mean, he was your son, and, so really, it wouldn't have mattered if you spent five minutes or five years with him, because you loved him, and drugs was probably an escape route to stop yourself from thinking about the pain you were going through."

"Yes!" I insisted, a little too eagerly, and my cheeks coloured a little in embarrassment. "You're so right, that's _exactly_ why I did it. But nobody seems to understand that, most people just think I did it to get some attention or because I was just acting out, but attention was the last thing I wanted."

He nodded. "I can at least understand that feeling, because when I was drinking heavily, it was easier to forget everything that was going on around me. That didn't mean it was right, but I refused to listen to anyone who tried to warn me that I had a problem, because I just didn't see it that way."

"Yeah, well I can definitely understand that feeling." I smiled, repeating his words from a moment before.

He grinned in response, and I took a moment to think, about how easy it had seemed in talking to him and being honest; one thing that I always found difficult when talking to other people, especially when talking about my feelings. I wasn't even like this with my own mum, and she was the one person I was closest to, and I realised that it was because I found it quite easy in talking to him, which was why it had seemed so natural in talking about everything.

"This is probably going to sound a bit weird, considering I don't really know you," I admitted, hoping that it wouldn't, considering how awkward I could be at times. "But I find it really easy to talk to you…I know that probably doesn't make any sense, but I'm never very good in talking about my feelings and things, and you're probably the first person who I've talked so deeply about this, since this happened."

Much to my relief, he just smiled back in response, not looking concerned at all about my admission. "Well I'm glad," he insisted. "I think sometimes people forget how much more difficult things are to deal with when you don't talk about it."

I frowned in response, as I remembered my deal with Hannah. "Oh well, I'm definitely going to have plenty of time for that."

His forehead furrowed in confusion. "Why?"

"Well, Hannah flew out here from her main home back in London to basically help me out. We were talking in the car, and she made it obvious that she still wasn't happy about the trouble I keep causing for myself, which is fair enough, considering she is my agent, and she did put a lot on the line when she became my agent, and I agreed to go to rehab for the next couple of weeks, and then she wants me to go to these meetings, to talk about how I'm getting on, basically. I mean, she's right; I have an addiction, so I should go to rehab, but even still…I don't really like the sound of it."

"Well, I think it will do you good." Gerry admitted thoughtfully. "You've been through a really difficult time, and I know you probably don't want to talk about it now, but if you have a different outlook on that after you've completed rehab, then you'll know you've done the right thing."

I smiled in response. "Yeah, you're probably right."

Hannah headed out from the doorway, a cup of coffee in her hands for Gerry and two glasses of water for the both of us, which she was holding on a black, rounded tray. She put the tray on the table in front of us, and took a seat beside Gerry.

"Anyway, I don't mind coming and seeing you when you're in rehab."

I glanced upwards after taking a sip of my drinking, mostly looking to see if Gerry was actually being serious or not, but it seemed that he definitely was being serious.

"Are you being serious? You'd do that for me?"

"Well, yeah," he shrugged, downplaying it as though it was nothing, even though I wouldn't have expected such an offer from him, considering how I hadn't known him for very long. "I went to rehab only last year for addiction for prescription painkillers, after a surfing accident whilst I was filming, because I realised I was relying on them too heavily, so I know what it's like to be there…and anyway, I think it might be good for me to come and see you, because like you said, you found it easy to talk to me about everything, and you need visitors like that when you're in there, people that understand."

I smiled in response, realising that I would have liked that, considering how well we were getting on. He seemed nice enough, and he was right in what he said, especially with how effortless I found in speaking so openly about everything.

With Hannah there too, I believed that I could get better a lot more than I first had, because she too, had been there a lot through me, and I appreciated her in coming to see me whilst I went through this.

"Thank you, that would mean a lot." I insisted truthfully, because I realised that I would need all the friends that I could get if I wanted to properly recover from this fully, and I realised that having Gerry there would be good too, considering how he had been through the same experience and had had beaten addictions in the past. It would be nice to listen to someone who had already been through not just an alcoholic addiction, but also his dependency on painkillers too.

"That's a really good idea," Hannah commented, turning so she could look at Gerry a bite better. "You'll definitely need as many friends as you can whilst you're going through this." She repeated the same thoughts as me.

I smiled in agreement as I kicked off my heels as put up my feet onto the armchair, making myself feel more at home, and I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief the moment them wretched heels were off of my feet, considering just how much my feet was aching now in disagreement with my choice of shoes.

I wanted to ask Gerry more questions now that I'd realised that we had something in common, but I realised that there was no point questioning him anymore, not when I would be finding out what rehab was for myself in a few days' time. I was nervous about the thought of rehab and as Hannah persuaded Gerry into having another coffee; it must have been obvious that I was worrying about things now.

"I hope you're not worrying about things too much," Gerry commented lightly, once Hannah went back inside.

I smiled in response, appreciating the concern, but I realised that I wouldn't be able to lie to him, not when I knew just how nervous I was about rehab, because I had never been there before, and I didn't know what to expect.

"I'm just…thinking really, more than anything, about what to expect from rehab. I've never been there before, so I guess I'm just feeling a little nervous."

"You'll be fine," he insisted confidently, flashing me an assured smile, which I could tell was meant at an attempt to comfort, and I appreciated it all the same, considering how nice he had been.

"How did you cope anyway…especially after overcoming your alcohol addiction? What I mean to ask really is…was there points when you were getting through your addiction that you thought you'd never overcome it again?"

He shrugged. "Well I moved to London to pursue an acting career, so I think that definitely kept me motivated, and before I moved, I got sacked because of my lifestyle choice, so it was a bit of a wake-up call. But of course there were times when I wanted to drink, especially when I went out to parties with other people. Everyone else drunk and it always seemed like I was missing out on the fun, but…you get over that soon enough. I suppose now, I've gone without alcohol for so many years, it doesn't bother me anymore." He confessed.

"How many years has it been since you stopped drinking?"

"About…eighteen years," he confessed, knocking me off guard for a second.

"Really?" I gasped. "That's…well, that's pretty incredible, and it's amazing to think that you haven't drunk alcohol in that long, especially considering how many people drink when they go out, like…I do the same, more out of habit than anything." I confessed sheepishly.

He smiled in response, before Hannah quickly interrupted with her loud voice, but it was good enough for me. I was glad that I had had the chance to talk to him, because it was nice knowing that he understood exactly what I was going through, and it definitely helped make me feel less nervous about the situation.

* * *

**So, there we have it! :) You know the whole story now. Next chapter is going to be focusing on her getting better, but don't worry, there will be plenty more of Gerard Butler! ;) **


	4. Visitor

**Okay, so here's the next chapter. I hope you like the story so far! :) It starts to get interesting soon, but I just want to feature some good Gerry and Charlie friendship time as they slowly begin to get to know each other more, but don't worry. I have plans for this story. Mwahahaha. Lol.**

* * *

**Visitor**

"**One of the things that's often forgotten about drug rehabilitation, it's not a destiny. It's a journey." **

**-Peter Hobson**

Despite how much I had been persuaded into believing that rehab was the best option for me, if I truly wanted to get better, I couldn't have disagreed more given how the first few days and nights went there. I knew I was in the right place despite how much it harder it became the more that time went on, and the more I began to get cravings, the narkier I began to feel.

To make matters worse, I didn't have one visitor in the first five days, and I couldn't help but let it put me in a foul mood, considering how Hannah had promised to come and see me every day that I was in there, and despite her assurance, she hadn't bothered to show up for one day, let alone the rest of the five days.

Gerry hadn't come to see me either but I was less disappointed in that, considering how busy I realised he was.

By the fifth day, I was unwilling to come out of my bedroom, because not only was I having a bad day, where my cravings really were beginning to get the better of me, but it was also because I was starting to question whether there was any point in trying to fight against it anyway, considering how nobody had bothered to come and see me.

And my mood didn't bother to hinder throughout the whole of the day, so I remained in the safety of my bedroom, where I didn't have to share my room with anyone or talk any longer about how I was feeling.

Today really wasn't the day to discuss trivial matters such as how angry I was feeling at being let down.

"Charlie, you have a visitor, sweetheart."

I forced my head up from the safety of my tear-stained pillow, where I had thrown myself onto my bed this morning, and curled myself into a tightly squeezed ball, in an attempt to escape from everything for a little while and try to ignore the agonizing pain that the withdrawals brought along. The last few days had felt like a constant battle and I was almost tempted to release myself from here and just give in, considering how impossible this felt, but now…I actually had a visitor?

I had enough strength in me to lift my eyes and stare across at the auburn haired woman who was always worked here in the daytime. She also dressed smartly, as though she was going to some kind of a business meeting, and today was no different. She was wearing a smart black dress and matching heels, and in my casual clothing, I felt even more out of place than I already did.

"Visitor?" I repeated a little strangely, not quite able to believe it to be true.

She smiled sadly in response. "That's right sweetie."

I wondered who could possibly be visiting me, considering my lack of faith in it being Hannah, especially as she hadn't bothered to keep her promise on seeing me every day, and the realisation of my lack of concern began to dawn on me, as I realised it didn't matter who it was, because nobody would have been able to take the pain I was feeling from the withdrawal symptoms anyway.

"Would you like me to invite them in?"

I turned my head to see that the nurse was still staring at me, waiting for some kind of a response from me, and though I desperately craved saying no, I couldn't deny a curiosity in seeing who had bothered to come and see me today, so I forced a nod in response, before quickly ducking my head once more, hearing her leave for myself.

I prayed that it wouldn't be Gerry of all people, considering the state I was in today, and I certainly wasn't just talking about my clothing. I was wearing grey jogging bottom trousers and a long sleeved, black top, and though my clothing wasn't too bad, I realised my hair probably looked a mess, considering how I had left it naturally wavy, and I was still in a state because of my addiction, today more-so.

I turned and grabbed my teddy bear from the side; my mum had flown it over me because she knew it was my favourite teddy bear from home, and she also knew what I was going through, so it was her attempt to comfort me from so far away. It was a bit of a grubby looking bear, and the brown of the bear had turned a grubby dark brown, but I didn't care. Because it was cuddly, and the moment that I hugged it to me, it made me feel a little better, even if the pain refused to subside with it.

As I clung onto my teddy bear with a fierceness, taking in its sweet lavender scent that had remained, even after all of this time of having it, I closed my eyes and pictured home, pictured the place that I missed the most, and daydreamed of being back there, back home with my mum, in the safety of my double bed, back in Cambridge.

It was said that this worked sometimes, to remind addicts of what was important, according to them, and I felt as though this was definitely one important memory.

I missed home.

I missed the safety that it brought, and I missed my mum too.

She was my safety, my stability, and I missed her, but I also realised that in getting myself cleaned up, I could still make her proud, if I at least tried, very hard.

My eyes fluttered open automatically the moment that I heard the click of the door handle brushing past the door frame, telling me that my visitor was here.

I stayed on the safety of my bed, despite knowing that however many times I tried to press my eyes closed, my visitor would still have been there. I wasn't ignoring them, or even attempting to make them leave, but I found the safety of the curved ball I had put myself in a comforter, more than anything, and I didn't want to turn and face my visitor, at least not yet.

"Charlie, you're visitor's here," I heard the nurse call out to me.

I squeezed my eyes closed tightly, as though that would help in blocking out her voice somehow, and chose to ignore her. It might have been rather an impolite thing to do, but I didn't want to talk, not yet.

I listened as the door silently slid into place again, telling me she had gone, and cuddled my teddy bear tightly, waiting for a noise to indicate what visitor had come to see me.

I was still being too cowardly to acknowledge them.

"So the nurse mentioned you were having a bit of a crap day today."

I frowned deeply before I could stop myself as I listened to the voice and quickly realised who the voice belonged to.

Gerry.

That was just great, considering the mess that I was finding myself in today, and it made matters worse, knowing that he would see me like this. I hardly knew him, and he'd already seen the worst parts of me that everyone else was only just realising existed.

I didn't say anything in response, because the truth was, I wasn't sure what there was to say. I was awkward at the best of times, and when I was feeling this low, I was even more so than normal.

I heard his feet move quietly above the rough edged carpet, but I still refused to acknowledge presence, because I was still caught up in everything. I didn't like knowing he was seeing me like this, and I still refused to look when I felt the bed move a little, as he sat himself down on the foot of the bed, perched just below my feet.

"I know…it's _hard_," he insisted softly, as though he was thinking of the right sort of thing to say to me for the best. I completely understood that feeling, considering how that was how I felt all of the time, but I realised that it was probably even harder for him now, considering just how closed off I was being.

"But you will start to feel better soon." He promised, instantly knowing what exactly was up for me, but even still, I couldn't help but roll my eyes a little in response, despite how much he knew about it all.

My view was one from a cynical point of view, but I still kept quiet, wondering on the very same thing he was probably thinking about a moment ago.

The right thing to say.

"Are you in pain, or anything? Like with the withdrawals or-"

"Yes," I gasped out finally, more forcing something out, so it wasn't as though he was just simply talking to himself. It was nice enough that he had come to see me, when he really didn't have to at all, considering that he hardly knew about me. It was sweet to think that he had at least kept his promise in visiting me.

So, I took a deep breath and continued. "Today's the worst it's been since I got here. it's even harder because…well, I haven't had any visitors, and a part of me just thinks why am I bothering for? I know it's a selfish thought, but…yes, it really hurts. An indescribable pain."

"I got withdrawal symptoms after I got myself treated for the prescription drugs…not anything as bad as this though, but even still, I somewhat understand what you're going through."

"What about after you gave up alcohol though? Did you not get any help for your addiction at all?"

"Nope, did it alone."

"What…and you never slipped up, not once? Not one single little drop when you were feeling weak…nothing?" I asked in surprise, suddenly feeling a whole lot weaker than before, considering just how easily he had seemed to have done it.

"Obviously there were times when I first gave up that I would just give in and have a glass or whatever, but then I'd instantly feel guilty, realising that I could never just have one, I'd have to have two, and I realised that it wasn't worth the guilt, not when I clearly had a problem. I had things to focus on too, like my career; I was so focused with that, with getting somewhere with acting, to become famous even that nothing else mattered."

I smiled in response, because I understood that feeling.

It was the very same feeling that I used to get with writing, and I could lose myself in a story for hours on end, without the need of drink or food or whatever, because like he had just said, nothing else mattered.

"Yeah, I used to understand that feeling, when I wrote. I used to be able to write pages and pages of my stories without thinking about anything else, because like you just said, nothing else had mattered."

"Then maybe you should do it again. The writing, especially if you loved it as much as you say you do. It might do you the world of good, to…well to get that enjoyment back, take your mind off of things."

I pursed my lips together and thought about what he was saying as I listened, and despite how much I wished to agree with him considering how much I had loved writing, but I realised that in giving up Sebastian, I had pretty much changed completely, considering how I felt about writing now. I still loved it, but it didn't feel the same anymore, but then maybe it was just because I hadn't experienced it in so long, considering how busy I had been through the competition.

There was one thing that I realised I had used often as a way of escaping, as a way of coping through my loss, and I realised this to be true, because the further Sebastian was separated from me whilst I was in the competition, the harder I strived to be a better singer, and the easier I found it to become lost in the sweet rapture of it all.

But could I really find the strength to sing again, under the circumstances?

"It's been so long since I tried to write," I confessed sheepishly as I gently stroked the soft skin of my teddy bear whilst I spoke, giving me strength to be more honest with him. "And I can't help but wonder if I'm strong enough to lose myself in it again, to…but there was something else."

"Like?" He asked curiously.

"Well, you know I sing too. When I was in the competition and Sebastian had just been getting settled into his new home, I often found that it took my mind off things."

"Then you should sing; maybe it would make this experience a little easier for you, and that's the most important thing."

I frowned in response, knowing before he spoke that he would encourage me to sing, but doubting myself in my ability to be able to.

"I…I don't think I can."

"Why not?"

"Well, I haven't written since Sebastian was taken away, and I haven't sung, at least, not since I started taking drugs."

"Isn't that more reason to sing, considering how it takes your mind off of things?"

"Well, I suppose so."

With that agreement, Gerry was more than certain that I should sing again, despite how uncertain I was that this was the right thing to do considering just how long it had been since I had sung properly like this. He had seen me sing properly twice, but that was on stage, and not so privately, and I felt anxious at the thought of singing in front of him.

"You've no reason to be nervous," Gerry promised me, once I had sat myself up in bed, finally able to look at him properly.

It was appreciative to see that he actually cared, and wasn't just showing me this kindness, or binding me with his time because he felt like he had to or something. When people spoke, I realised that not many people truly did mean the kindness that they offered, and it meant a great deal to have someone around, a friend, I dare say to help me through similar addictions to what he had gone through, someone to finally understand me.

His curls were just as unruly as they always seemed to look, and he was wearing casual clothing; a green hoodless jacket, with combat-style shorts, with the same pair of trainers that he usually wore. Given just how wild his natural curls were, and how casual his clothes were, I felt quite at ease with him, sat in my baggy jogging bottoms and how plain my clothing was.

It was a feeling I was quite unused to feeling with anyone.

"I heard you at the semi-finals and the finals too, don't you remember?"

"Yeah, but that's different." I quickly insisted. "That was performing for the whole crowd and not just that, but that was also performing for perfection, to be the best that I could be. With this…well, I haven't sung for ages, so I'm not sure if I'll be any good anymore, and I've never sung so…privately for you either."

"You have an amazing voice, Charlie. I don't forget those nights, nor do I forget how amazing you was, which was why you won in the first place. You were absolutely incredible, and in fact, you overheard me say it for yourself. A talent can't just go like that, not considering how amazing you were."

"Thanks," I mumbled back.

I felt my cheeks starting to brighten with red in embarrassment from his revelation, and I instantly hid my face by staring downwards, trying not to make my reaction at all obvious, because I didn't want him to notice it.

Finally, I agreed to sing for him, but I wasn't too sure on what song to even sing, considering how long it had been since I last had. Gerry suggested something that actually meant something to me, something that I would find easy to sing and easy enough to portray the emotions behind the lyrics.

I realised that I knew just the song.

I sung _my kind of love_, a song that I had written and a song that I had sung at the finals of the show.

Most people believed it to be about my ex-boyfriend, considering how they didn't know about Sebastian, and though it was right, as I had written the song shortly after breaking up with him, it no longer held that effect for me anymore, nor was it Callum who I was imagining in my head as I sung it.

I closed my eyes shut tightly, allowing myself to be swept up in the music once more, and suddenly realising just how much I had missed this. It was Sebastian who I pictured in my mind, and how much I loved him. It was my way of telling my son about just how much I loved him and missed him and how deep and conditional my love went for him. An explanation of some sort for why I had to give him up, for his chance of a better life.

I still believed that I had done the right thing now.

As the song finished, I forced myself to open my eyes again, finding Gerry still sat at the edge of my bed, an awed smile upon his face as he listened to me sing, and I couldn't help but smile back in response.

I waited patiently for a response, feeling uncertain of what that one might be, despite how pleased he looked.

"I told you you're an amazing singer," he insisted confidently. "Despite all you've been through, your talent is still just as outstanding….look, you've even given me goose bumps, that's how amazing you sound." He insisted as he attempted to rub down his wrists, which had small pimples going across his skin.

I grinned in response, delighted with his response. "I'm glad that you think so. I've missed singing."

We probably sat talking for ages, but it didn't feel like it at all, because it felt natural in talking to him and one conversation seemed to easy flow to another one, to the point where it just felt like we had been speaking for mere minutes.

But all too soon, the nurse swept back into the room and confirmed that it was the end of visiting hours, and I couldn't contain my sadness in knowing that, considering how easy I found talking to him.

"Does he have to go yet?" I complained sadly, before I could stop myself from asking.

I flushed from both awkwardness and from embarrassment as both of them turned back to look at me after I asked, especially with how surprised the nurse looked by such a comment from me, and it was then that I realised how cut off from everyone I had probably been these last couple of days.

"Urm, well I guess not," she confirmed uncertainly, instantly causing a smile to sweep over my face in response.

She looked back to Gerry and smiled. "I mean…we always welcome a friend or family member to stay over the night if they would like to. There's always a bed made up in each of the visitor rooms."

I looked back to Gerry and realised how selfish I was probably being in asking him to stay, because of just how busy he was. I was lucky that he had even bothered to come and see me in the first place, let alone spend the whole night here, and I realised that that was the last thing I could ask of him, considering just how sweet he had been.

"Oh…I don't think that will happen anyway, as Gerry's likely to be busy."

"Well, I'm free all evening. I have a spare couple of days off, and I never thought I'd say this about rehab, but it's been nice, just sitting and talking to you actually." He confessed, attempting at a joke, and I couldn't help but smile in response.

"Yeah, but I don't mind if you have to go. It's dull enough for the patients, let alone the visitors."

"I wouldn't still be here if I found it dull."

I glanced at him properly, taking in whether or not he was being serious, and I couldn't contain my automatic smile as I realised that he was telling the truth with saying that he really did want to be here. It was pleasant knowing that he actually cared, because at times like this, I needed friends around me, and after all he had done for me, it was obvious that his concern wasn't just a cool façade like others.

The nurse was happy to let him stay for the night, and it seemed a little to me that she was happy just to see the change that his appearance brought on, and I couldn't deny that I liked having someone there, someone who knew what I was going through but had already been through it themselves as to give me courage to move forward, to believe that I could get past this and beat the addiction.

My radiant mood quickly distinguished all together though, when I was quickly reminded of the necessity of having my daily chat, which consisted of explaining to someone how I was feeling today, and whether I was feeling confident about fighting against my addiction, and blah, blah, blah…

I knew it was stupid to think like that considering how it was my fault for having the addiction in the first place, but I couldn't help but feel disappointed that I still had to talk about how I was feeling, especially with a visitor there.

They insisted that I brought Gerry with me whilst I talked though, insisting that it might make me feel more comfortable, considering the positive impact that he seemed to have on me, but I was warier than them, considering how much I hated talking about my feelings in front of people.

I realised that just because I was able to talk more freely in front of Gerry, it didn't necessary mean that I could do that with another person.

Gerry had believed it to be a good idea too, but I just didn't feel really with talking in front of him, not with the nurse asking me a number of questions such as _how does that make you feel_, or _how do you feel about that_?

The meeting went quite fast though, and I was in and out of half an hour, though that was mostly because I just wasn't interested in talking today, not when I could have been spending time with Gerry.

I hated people asking me questions, especially about feelings and how I was feeling and coping, but I loved asking questions. I was curious, and I realised that Gerry was the perfect person to talk to, considering how much he had been through himself, rather than just being asked how I was feeling, when the truth of it was, I didn't really know how I was feeling, because it dithered quickly from one moment to the next.

I found Gerry sat in the kitchen of the clinic, sat on a cream spinning high chair, perched in front of a dark wooden high table, with a light grey, glassy table top, matching the cabinets at the side of the room. The kitchen was modern looking, especially compared to some of the other rooms in the rehab, and always smelt fresh the moment you walked in there.

"So…as you're staying for the night, I'd better offer to cook, considering just how much you've already done for me." I realised with a smile. "It would be rude of me not to offer, but be warned, I'm not a very decent cook." I attempted a joke, throwing a grin at him as I lazily slid my feet moderately against the cool planes of the stone flooring beneath my bare feet, welcoming the cold against my skin.

He laughed in response. "Well in that case, I'm more than happy to help you." He insisted, quickly getting up from the high chair.

"What makes you think you're a better cook than me?" I teased, throwing a smirk at him as I headed over to the fridge to see what was left in there.

The one thing I disliked with being in rehab was that we wasn't allowed to go out and get our own shopping, as we were here for two weeks of being apart from anywhere else, and so it meant asking for things you wanted, by writing a shopping list, and if you didn't put your name on the item you had asked for, then people would just take it, so I made sure that I always labelled my food.

"Hmm…that sounds like a competition to me."

I laughed in response. "Yeah right, if you like then bring it on. I might not be the best cook in the world, but my vegetarian spaghetti bolognaise is amazing."

I saw him pull a face in the corner of my eyes in response.

"Vegetarian? Well, there's your problem there." He laughed.

I grabbed the vegetarian bolognaise out of the fridge and rolled my eyes in response. "I'm a vegetarian, been one since I was…12, I think, and trust me, I make it taste amazing."

"Wow, so you've never once eaten meat or fish or anything else for like eight years?"

"I eat fish weekly, to try and get protein, as I don't eat the things I should in order to keep to a healthy diet, but yeah, it's been that long since I've eaten meat. But in all honesty, I'm so used to it now that it's just normal to me." I shrugged.

"Okay, I admit, you've made me curious about this so-called amazing bolognaise."

"Well, feel free to watch the expert at work," I joked playfully, grabbing the packet of spaghetti from the cupboard, and halving it ready to put into the saucepan of boiling water.

"For someone who admitted to not being a very decent cook a second ago, you're acting very over confident."

"Meh, I like to let myself think I'm more amazing than what I actually am." I continued to joke, making him laugh again in response.

In all honesty, I wouldn't have ever liked the bolognaise on its own with spaghetti, because it had no flavour what-so-ever, and tasted vile, but I had learned a trick from living with my mum that made it taste so much more amazing than it did alone. Whenever she cooked me vegetarian spaghetti, she would tip the sauce with the spaghetti once it was cooked, and tip in a little bit of herbs from a small bottle, which always made it taste so much more amazing.

I did the same now, grabbing a packet of grated cheese from the fridge and putting a small amount on, before tucking in.

I couldn't help but smile as I ate, considering how long it had been since I had eaten vegetarian bolognaise. It was a meal that reminded me of home and it had fond memories that I held onto firmly, which was what I needed, especially with being in here.

I waited patiently whilst I began to wash up the plates and saucepans, anticipating Gerry's reaction as he finished eating, though I couldn't help but allow a small smile to slip past my features as he placed me his plate to me.

"Okay, I'll admit, for vegetarian bolognaise that was actually nice. But, I still don't think I'd be turning a vegetarian anytime soon." He joked playfully, as he grabbed a tea towel from the side, and began to assist me in clearing up.

"But I don't really eat that much meat anyway, not really. I think its more habit, than anything." He confessed with a shrug.

"I would have been the same, but my mum didn't care when I told her I was a vegetarian. The thing is…none of my family is vegetarian, and I can't really remember what exactly made me vegetarian, but I couldn't imagine not being it now, because it's just habit really, like how you eat meat."

"Good point." He grinned.

It didn't take long to clear up, but I made sure that the table tops were all clean and tidy, before we retired to my room again. It was nicer than I thought, having Gerry around, because he seemed to be able to take my mind off of things, and more importantly take my mind off of being here.

It seemed that I wasn't the only one to notice such a change either.

"Well, you seem a lot happier since I arrived." Gerry pointed out with a smile as he took a seat on the comfortable leather sofa situated at the side of my small bedroom.

I smiled back in response, as I took a seat on my bed, wrapping my feet from underneath me easily and grabbing my teddy bear to hold automatically, almost out of habit, more than anything else.

"Yeah…I guess I am," I shrugged. "It's nice to have visitors, and Hannah hasn't come to see me yet, even though she promised to come and see me every day. It's also nice to have you here, because I realise you've had problems of your own, and still managed to get through it, and I guess it's helping me to realise that there is light at the end of the tunnel."

He nodded in response. "Yeah, I see what you mean, it makes sense. I think people tend to forget that, especially when they have a bunch of other people around them going through the exact same thing, and who have not yet been able to get through their addiction. I'm surprised Hannah hasn't come and see you yet though."

I shrugged again. "I understand she's busy, but it would have been nice to see her, but it doesn't matter. I have over a week or so yet here, so she could come then. I guess it's just nice enough to realise that I'm not a complete loser, and not have any visitors at all." I joked, making him laugh in response.

He stayed in my room for most of the evening, despite how we just talked for most of it, about anything and everything. It seemed that talking with him was easy, and just when I thought that I had said all there was to say, I'd think of something else, and then the subject would change again.

"Ooh, we should watch twilight," I insisted with a smile. "It's the best film ever, and it always cheers me up."

He stared at me like I was completely mad, and as though I had just suggested to run down the street naked or something, and I couldn't hold back my laughter in response, because I quickly realised that he probably wasn't a fan.

"Watch twilight, really? Are you trying to torture me with terrible movies, in an attempt to get rid of me, or-"

"Hey! Take that back," I complained. "Twilight isn't that bad, but to be honest, Breaking Dawn is better…that's the fourth and last instalment in the twilight saga." I quickly explained, when he shot me with a confused look.

He rolled his eyes in response, as though that wouldn't make a difference on how 'rubbish' he believed it to be either.

"In all fairness, it isn't _that_ bad a movie, but when you hear how many girlfriends I've had tell me how hot they think Robert Pattinson is, or even Taylor Lautner, you get bored of hearing about it."

I pursed my lips together in order to try and stop myself from smiling in response, despite how much I normally automatically smiled whenever Rob's name was mentioned, but it seemed that I was being completely obvious, even when I tried hard not to keep the smile from my face as he complained.

He sighed heavily. "You fancy one of them, don't you?"

I couldn't help myself then; it was an invitation to talk as far as I was concerned. "Not of Taylor Lautner; ewe, he's disgusting. But I'll admit, I do sort of fancy Rob, but I'm not anywhere near as bad as what I used to be."

He shook his head in response.

"I'll admit, I'm slightly disappointed now. I thought you were cool, but you like twilight, and you fancy Robert Pattinson."

"Oh, shh!" I complained, laughing in response. "It's just the hair that does it for me, when it's like…all messy and wild, it's just quite…sexy. And those green eyes too, he has lush eyes, especially when they smoulder."

He laughed in response and I couldn't help but pout in response, in realising he was laughing at me and what I had just admitted.

"I'm sorry, sorry," he tried an apology, attempting to stop himself from laughing more as he turned properly to look at me, still fighting laughter for a moment more as he pursed his lips together.

"You know, my ex once said I look a bit like Robert Pattinson." He confessed boldly, making me laugh now in response, before I could stop myself. I didn't think he looked like him at all, but it was funny that someone had told him they did.

He was frowning now in response to my laughter, and I apologised for laughing, before he could get too annoyed by my laughter.

"Well…I guess you sort of do, with the messy hair, and the green eyes, but besides that, you don't look anything like him." I smiled.

He shrugged in response. "Ah well, I'm hotter than him anyway." He joked playfully, making me laugh in response, considering just how arrogant that sounded, even with him only joking about it.

"Big head," I teased, elbowing him playfully in response.

* * *

**Hope you liked! I'll try and update soon, as I'm going on holiday next Wedensday for a week. Ooh, excited lol! Please review! :D**


	5. Party

**Okay, so her'es Chapter five! Things are starting to get more interesting I think! :) I really hope you like!**

* * *

_It is not love that is blind, but jealousy._

-Lawrence Durell

**Party**

The two weeks of rehab went quicker than I actually thought they would and Hannah visited a couple of times to make up for her not coming to see me for the first few days of me being in rehab. She told me she was busy and although I did genuinely believe her as I realised how much work she had to do sometimes, I couldn't help but wonder if it was also because she just didn't want to see me in a state too.

Hannah was the worst sort of person to talk to sometimes, when you were going through things and though I adored her, I understood that she probably believed that giving me space was the right thing to do.

Gerry visited quite a few times in the two weeks that I was at rehab and we had become a lot closer in the two weeks as he helped me through my addiction and I was finding his visits more routine than at first as we became closer as friends.

Hannah had my future all figured out for me or at least that was how it seemed to me when she came to see me just a day before I was due to come out of rehab, but it kept me from worrying, which was at least one good thing. Hannah always had that effect, considering how organised she usually was about work.

On the last day of my stay at rehab, I got up like normal and began to get ready, knowing that Hannah was coming later on that day to pick me up from the centre and drop me off to my new home that she had managed to buy me. She had done a lot for me and I appreciated it more than anything considering how silly I had been acting lately.

I was excited to get out of the clinic and get back on my feet again, and the prospect of starting a new again.

I put on a pretty, sea blue summer dress; with white polka dot patterns scattered across the dress, pairing them off with a few golden bangles, and a pair of golden-cream flat shoes, before I moved back into the bedroom and began to pack my things away into a suitcase, ready to leave as soon as Hannah got here.

"Somebody's eager to leave."

I grinned the moment I heard Gerry's voice from behind me, surprised to hear that he was here for myself.

I turned to see Gerry leaning against the doorframe of my bedroom door, a cheeky looking grin on his face, with his arms crossed against his chest as he stood, perched just outside my bedroom.

He was dressed casually like he normally was, with a dusky blue shirt on, with short sleeves, and dark blue jeans, paired off with a pair of trainers.

His hair was styled messily, and I could tell that he had left his hair natural, letting the curls fall where they want.

"More than eager!" I confessed, not bothering to deny it.

He laughed in response, running a hand through his tangled curls and pulling slightly. "Hannah asked me to pick you up from here and drive you to your new home. I think she's setting up a surprise for you or something. Are you excited to see your new house?"

"Yeah, definitely; I know just how organised Hannah is, so I bet it's going to be an amazing house."

"She seemed to have things pretty sorted out, to be fair." He agreed with a smile.

I zipped up my case once I was finished packing everything I needed, including my teddy bear, and set it down lightly on the floor, though it was mostly thanks to Gerry's help, considering just how weak I was.

"How are you feeling today anyway?"

Gerry's question was spoken with concern and I could tell he was asking because he was genuinely bothered, which was understandable considering how it had been just over two weeks since I had taken drugs, but in all honesty, I was feeling a lot better than when I had first come to rehab and was feeling more optimistic.

"Yeah, I'm feeling a lot happier than when I did when I first got here." I admitted as I followed him out with my suitcase in hand, ready to put in the car. "Anyway…won't you get seen if we drive in your car?" I asked him anxiously as we made our way to reception, because I didn't want people to start talking about him when they didn't know the full story.

I just what journalists could be like.

"Oh no, that's fine, I parked inside of the car park, so nobody saw me." He grinned.

"Ah, I see; sneaky." I joked, throwing a playful wink his way, and making us both laugh in response.

As we sorted everything out and headed out to the carping park to find Gerry's car, I couldn't help but stare in awe as I took in his car, which was situated at the side of the car park. It was a silver Mercedes convertible, with tinted windows and to say it was amazing was a bit of an understatement.

"Wow," I breathed out automatically as I helped Gerry pack the suitcase into the boot of the car, before brushing my fingers softly against the car, still in awe of it as I walked round to the passenger's side.

Gerry laughed from behind me. "I would be impressed, but then most girls are in awe of this beauty." He teased jokingly.

"Isn't this from the SL65 AMG black series?" I asked, remembering from reading it in a magazine somewhere. Strangely enough I remembered ridiculous things like that, but in moments like this, I felt cool in saying it, especially in front of Gerry.

He stared at me in shock for a moment as he headed round to the driver's side of the car, before grinning in response.

"I think its official: I've found the woman of my dreams." He teased, glancing over at me and winking at me playfully.

I stared after him in surprise, not using to him jokingly flirting with me, before I quickly ducked my head, trying to pretend that my cheeks were not burning with a deep shade of red in response.

He laughed in response, but I was grateful that he didn't say anything more, as he unlocked the car with a button, and we got inside.

His car was just as nice in the inside as it was on the exterior of the car, and I couldn't help but stare around the car with the same awe that I used on the outside of the car as we began to drive out of the safety of the car park, and into the sunny daylight of Los Angeles, and I couldn't help but sigh in relief, even if I couldn't feel the sun on my skin yet. I had missed being able to enjoy the sunshine properly more than I had thought.

The car smelt glorious as it smelt of Gerry's amazing aftershave all around the car, and I couldn't help but breathe in the lush, musky scent deeply.

I was more than relieved when he didn't seem to notice.

The drive from the clinic was only a ten minute drive and I couldn't help but smile in response as we pulled outside of the house that stood on the right of the road, because it looked amazing. I had to admit that it wasn't the most incredible house that I had ever seen in Los Angeles, but it wasn't over the top either, which only made me love it more.

The house was the last on the right, and a long, stone path lead up to the house, which was a two storey and the exterior was creamy terracotta-coloured stone. The window panels were a creamy white, but the front door was an oily black colour.

The front garden was only small, but beautifully bright flowers decorated the majority of it, and I couldn't help but smile as I took in how lovely the house looked from the outside.

Gerry looked back to me, with excitement brimming in his green eyes as he took in my reaction to the house. "So, what do you think to your new house then?"

"Wait…so this _really_ is it?" I asked in surprise, pointing up to the house in question.

He nodded, and I gasped in response.

"Oh wow…I love it! I really do, it's amazing!" I instantly exclaimed, making him laugh from beside me.

I quickly climbed out of the car, and walked around to the side of it, stepping carefully on the pavement.

Gerry offered to get my bag from the boot, so I began to walk up the thin, long path leading up to the front of the house, hearing Gerry following from behind me.

Anticipation soured through me as we approached the house, and made it to the front door, and I couldn't help but smile in response as he held out a silver key for me to use.

"I guess you'll need this."

"I guess I will thank you; I'm so excited!" I confessed honestly as I put the key in the door, and unlocked it.

I took out the key and slid the door open, before taking a peek inside the house. The hallway was thin but stretched out in front of me, and it smelt like lavender a little bit, the lush scent welcoming me into my new home.

The floor was creamy coloured, stone flooring, and the walls were painted in white, matching the back of the front door, and the creamy floor too. There were pretty, rounded spotlights spread out across the hallway evenly, providing light. On the left side, there was a terracotta coloured wall, and a brown, woven square mirror hung proudly on the wall.

On the left of the hallway, there was an oily black staircase, perched next to a glass table, and there was a wooden, glass-top table on the right of the wall, just below a black rimmed, square mirror.

I heard the sound of heels, and automatically looked up to see Hannah heading out on a room on the left, her blonde hair tied up into a messy looking bun, freeing her face from her thick, long hair.

She had on a smart, grey dress, which was quite tight-fitted, and fit well to her curves, and she had on a pair of metallic, black shoes on, and she looked just as pretty as she normally did, even with her long, shiny hair tied up.

"You look so relieved to be out of there," she commented lightly, instantly moving over to where I was stood, and embracing me in a warm hug. "How are you feeling? I hope you like the new house I've brought you." She asked, quickly moving away to look at me properly.

"Yeah, I am _so _relieved to be out of rehab! Oh, I love it, Hannah! Truly I do, thank you so much."

She grinned in response. "What can I say? I'm amazing!" She confirmed with a grin, making me laugh in response.

I left her and Gerry in the kitchen on the side of the hallway, as they grabbed a drink for themselves. I was too busy looking around my new house, taking in just how amazing it was for myself first of all.

I moved into the kitchen first of all, where Hannah was pouring some apple juice into two glasses for the two of them, taking in this room first. It had a fresh smell about it, a little like bleach, and it smelt amazing.

In front, on the right side of the room was the kitchen area.

Light grey, marble cabinet tops sat upon a small high table which features from the middle of the room to the right of the room, and separated the kitchen off with the small, seating area on the left side of the room. In front of the high table sat three, oily black high stools, sat above creamy, squared stone flooring.

There were dark brown cabinets sat on the far end of the room, with the same grey marble tops, and there were some high cabinets which were made of the same darkened wood colour.

The cooker was sat in the middle of the dark cabinets and was coloured in sterling silver, matching the colour of the fridge, perched on the right side of the room.

On the left side of the room, there were multi-coloured chairs perched at a small, round white table. There was a window beside it, with a straw blind rolled up, so that you could see outside the window.

The walls were all cream coloured, and spotlights scattered the ceilings decoratively, and there was five diamond-shaped pictures, in the colour of terracotta, baby blue, cream, lime green, and dusky pink, which matched the pink rimmed fireplace at the other end of the room.

I moved back into the hallway, moving towards the terracotta wall, and moving into the first room beside the door, perched behind a door-less archway.

The walls were all decorated in the same cream colour, which seemed to feature everywhere in the house, with the same modern spotlights lighting up the room, and there was a three-setter sofa, perched beside a wooden armchair, with a creamy cotton texture to sit on.

In front was a rectangle, glass table, and on the other side of that was two wooden armchairs, with a pink cushion on it, with white floral patterns scattered across the cushion.

There was another living room in the house, situated at the other end of the hallway, and this one featured a flat screen television, hung up proudly on the creamy coloured wall, on the very left of the room. On the wall beside the door, the wall was painted in a light blue colour, blending in with the paleness of the room nicely.

On the left of the room, perched at the side, there was a small square table which was made of glass, and there was some multi-coloured chair perched around each side of it. On the table sat a bottle of champagne, making me shake my head in response. Hannah had obviously brought it for me to drink to celebrate moving in, considering how kind she was.

There was a dark wooden fireplace sat on the left of the room, perched at the far end of the room, sat beside a window with the same straw blinds rolled up, and next to it was a door, leading out to the back of the garden.

There were two cream sofa placed next to each other, with creamy squared patterned pillows on each side of them. There was also a dark leather armchair on the left of the two of the sofa, perched next to a dark wooden, rectangle table.

I grabbed the bottle of champagne and headed back out to the kitchen, throwing Hannah a suspicious smirk.

"Guess what I just found in the living room."

She giggled playfully in response, taking the bottle from me and beginning to pour some in the glass for two of us, but it was then that I remembered about Gerry still being there and instantly began to feel guilty in response.

I turned back to him, smiling apologetically. "Shit…I completely forgot…you probably think I'm completely rude for parading alcohol in front of you."

He laughed in response, but admittedly tried to hold it back by pursing his lips together, but when he couldn't do that quite effectively; he pressed his hands to the side of his face, looking down, so that he wasn't looking at me.

Once he'd stopped laughing, he finally looked back up at me again.

"Sorry," he apologised, seeing I was glaring at him for laughing, since I was genuinely being concerned. "But it's been like ten years since I've last slipped and had a drink, and I go to so many parties where people drink alcohol all the time, so I promise you I'm fine, but thank you for asking." He smiled.

"It's okay," I smiled, accepting the glass of champagne that Hannah had given me.

We stayed talking in the kitchen for an hour or so, before we eventually moved into the living room with the television, after Hannah insisted that we should watch a film on my new television.

I sat myself down next to Gerry and spread my feet across the sofa, and across him, who shot me a pretend annoyed look.

"I have my feet safely wrapped up in socks, and my feet actually smell quite lush. Do you mind?" I asked, pretending that I actually cared if he did, even when I was really comfortable sat here like this.

He rolled his eyes. "No, I guess not."

I grinned in response, making him laugh.

I looked back to Hannah, to see her fiddling with the remote busily, as she attempted to play the movie.

"What movie are we actually watching?" I asked curiously.

"Erm, I brought The Woman in Black over," she replied busily, before the television flashed to life. "I know that you haven't watched it yet, and wanted to see it for the last year, and Gerry hasn't either."

"Isn't it meant to be really scary though? You know how badly I cope with horrors." I asked her with fright, as she handed me the bowl of popcorn to share with me and Gerry, and I situated it in the middle.

She grabbed her own bowl of popcorn from the table and sat on the free sofa, spreading out like I had done.

She shrugged. "It's not a horror Charlie, so I'm sure you'll be fine." She insisted, though I wasn't so sure, considering what a loser it was then it came to movies like this that made you jump in response.

And jump I did, several times, and once, I almost spilt the popcorn over, which all seemed very amusing to Gerry, until I shot him a furious glare, and he tried hard to control his laughter, despite how hard he struggled.

By the end of the film, I was more than glad when it was over, considering how much I had kept jumping throughout the whole of it.

I shot Gerry an angry glare as soon as he began to laugh. "I'm glad my fright is considered humorous to you." I snapped icily.

"Sorry for laughing," he insisted, even though he laughed again in response. "But it was quite funny when every single noise in the film seemed to frighten you." He teased playfully, laughing again.

"Gerry!" I complained sourly, hitting him playfully in response, and making him laugh again once more.

"Okay, sorry, sorry," he laughed, giving in.

I helped Hannah take out the bowls to the kitchen, and Gerry helped dry up as we washed up. Hannah poured me yet another glass of champagne, and I pretended to throw a playful glare her way.

"Are you trying to get me drunk, Miss Bridlington?" I teased with her playfully, making her laugh in response as she helped Gerry put the remainder of the items out of the way and into empty cupboards.

"Well you're more fun drunk…no offence." She quickly added when I shot her another glare in response.

"More fun, huh? Now this I'd like to see." Gerry commented with a grin, as he grabbed his own drink and followed us out into the hallway, to go back and sit in the living room and watch television.

"Pfft, don't expect much," I replied honestly. "All I do when I'm drunk is talk more, and I doubt you'd want that." I joked.

"Hah, you've got that right! You'd better give me that back then." He insisted, trying to grab the champagne glass from me as we headed into the living room, but I refused to give it up, backing away from him.

"Aha, but that doesn't mean I'm quite ready to stop drinking." I joked.

Hannah looked out to my back garden and clapped her hands together. "Oh my god, your pool looks amazing! We should _so_ have a pool party, well sort of a pool party, considering there's only three of us, and one is so boring, considering how he doesn't drink anymore-"

"Hey, I might not drink, but that still doesn't mean I can't be any fun." Gerry disagreed, interrupting Hannah.

She smiled in response. "Fine, fine, sorry, I'm only joking. But I guess it doesn't consist of a party, considering there are only three of us, but we should still totally do it." She grinned excitedly.

"Well, I know some people in the area that I could invite round."

Hannah shot Gerry an uncertain look in response. "Are most of them women?"

"Well some are, but I knew quite a few guys that I get along with, and yes, some of them are younger before you ask."

"And they're cool?" Hannah asked worriedly.

Gerry rolled his eyes in response, unimpressed with Hannah's lack of faith in him, after realising it in her voice.

"Yes Hannah, god, you have such little faith in me." He complained, before turning back to me. "Anyway, this is Charlie's house, so it's up to her if she wants to invite anyone round, not you." He reminded her bluntly.

Hannah shot me a glare from behind Gerry so that he couldn't see in response, reminding me what little choice I had on the subject, and with a heavy sigh, I forced myself to agree, knowing that Hannah would kill me if I said no to this, even if I did just want an easy night in, in my first night at my house.

"Yeah sure, why not?" I forced a smile.

Hannah grinned in response, before rambling on about going to go and get alcohol now for tonight, and then inviting everyone round for half seven so that it gave us time to get ready and make ourselves pretty as she said, and how it was the perfect time for me to make some new friends and whilst she talked excitedly, I noticed Gerry was watching me with concern.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Well, I thought Hannah's idea was a good idea at first, but now when I think about it…will you be alright… considering it's only been less than day since you got out of rehab?" H asked anxiously.

I smiled in response, realising his worry was completely understandable considering the circumstances. I had been an addict for far too long but I realised that the longer I put off getting back to normal, the more chance that I would be tempted to do something stupid in the future.

"I think I'll be alright but thank you for actually caring about it. I feel alright, and I know that sounds stupid after just one day, but I think I'll be alright. After all, it's only a few people, isn't it?" I smiled.

He nodded in response. "Yeah, you're right."

I left Hannah and Gerry downstairs and went upstairs, following the stairs round to the upstairs hallway, and taking a look around the rooms, before I decided which bedroom I liked best to choose as mine.

All of the bedrooms were nice but in the end I chose the bedroom with the biggest wardrobe and the balcony.

The room was lush, with creamy wooden flooring, to match the back wall of the bedroom, just behind the bed, which was covered with a white duvet, and a terracotta coloured throw at the bottom of the bed, which matched the colours of the square pillows at the head of the bed. There was a creamy headboard, which matched the creamy coloured, woven stool at the front of the bed.

The wardrobe was on the right side of the bedroom, besides the doorway and was painted in grey, and was made of wood.

There were cream vase shaped table lights perched on woven cabinet stands in each side of the bed, sat beneath a square window, with woven blinds folded up like the rest of the house, and there was a sunbed shaped chair situated at the side of the room, perched besides a dark brown wooden table shaped like an oval, and that was perched beside the balcony.

I unpacked my suitcase and situated all of my clothing in the drawers and cabinets, before moving to the bathroom to get showered, and I couldn't deny that I couldn't wait considering how rubbish the showers were at the clinic.

The bathroom was quite small but it was decorated nicely.

There were different types of blues and greens as tiles on the wall, and the floor matched that. In front of the door was lot of floor cabinets perched underneath two, porcelain white sinks and there was a white porcelain bath on the left side, and a glass-door shower on the right of the door.

Despite my arguments downside with Hannah, she had convinced that I changed into something nicer, and so I forced myself to disagree without any more complaint, knowing that it would get me nowhere.

She had given me a navy blue dress to wear which I had to admit was quite pretty, but I didn't much agree with the high heels she had given me. It seemed that she wasn't best pleased with the flat shoes that I had been wearing, despite how well she had managed to bite back any snarky comments about them all day.

They were metallic black heels, which had a massive heel on them, but with a sigh, I forced myself to put them on, taking a look at myself in the bathroom mirror.

The dress was pretty and has short, thin straps, with a V-neck top, and the dress was tight, fitting perfectly around my small, slim figure. There was cut outs at the back of the dress, showing off my thin back too.

I blow-dried my hair and put on some foundation, some navy blue eye shadow, as well as a little bit of mascara, and looked in the mirror at my hair.

My hair had turned into fine ringlets that slipped down, past my shoulders. My hair was the colour of fiery auburn from where I had dyed it in the winter, and my long hair shadowed over the sides of my pale face, and dark brown, small eyes. My eyebrows were naturally darkened, as my hair was naturally dark brown, but my fiery hair didn't look out of place, and almost matched my pale pink lips.

I dabbed some brighter pink lipstick on, before finally deciding to leave my hair the way it is, considering how neat it looked for once, as I didn't genuinely believe that I needed to make much more of a fuss than necessary.

I found Gerry and Hannah sat at the kitchen table in the kitchen, and Gerry didn't look too impressed as she sat talking to him.

"Ugh…Gerry's being a spoil spoilt!" Hannah complained sourly as I walked into the kitchen to greet them.

"Oh is he, why, what's up?" I asked curiously, watching as the two of them looked round at me properly, before the two of them gazed down at what I was wearing. I smiled in response to Gerry's reaction to my dress, because he looked quite impressed. Then again, I didn't exactly dress like this normally, so it was understandable.

"Wow, you look utterly beautiful, Charlie!" Hannah commented proudly, and I grinned in response, taking a spin for them, before quickly taking a seat at the free high chair beside Gerry, embarrassed with being stared at now.

"Yeah, you look amazing." Gerry agreed with a polite smile, making me smile again in response as I took a sip of my glass of champagne which was stood waiting for me on the kitchen table whilst I had gotten ready.

"So why is Gerry a spoil spoilt exactly?" I asked, quickly changing the subject.

Hannah groaned in agitation in response. "Ugh, because he's trying to get out of the party we're arranging tonight! Just because he's worried about you taking it too fast and I told him he's a spoil spoilt!"

"All I said was that I was worried that if I invite anyone over, then they might not understand that you've gone through a hard time and would get you very drunk, that's all. I have a few younger mates that I've known for a few years, and I know what their like, that's all. I wasn't saying I didn't trust Charlie at all."

"Was anyone of your younger friends Robert Pattinson?" I asked jokingly, knowing he'd get annoyed by my question.

He rolled his eyes in response, reacting like I knew he would. "No Charlie, he is not." He replied, making me grin in response due to the tone of his voice.

"Well I disagree; I think socialising will do Charlie the world of good, and not just for her career. She's newly moved here, so it will do her well to get to know as many people here as possible, and if you've got any hot friends, she might even pull tonight." She joked, turning to wink at me in response.

I couldn't help but smile awkwardly in response as I shifted in my chair, because that was the last thing that I was after. The last thing I needed was a relationship right now, but I doubt that Hannah would see it like that, because as far as she was concerned, it wouldn't have to affect my career as it would be private and nobody would need to find out if we kept it hush-hush, but it was the last thing I wanted anyway.

"Listen, I'm really not after a relationship, not anytime soon anyway." I added quickly, making it clear to her.

"Hey, who said anything about a relationship?" She joked; winking at me and making me roll my eyes in response.

A relationship and sex was the same thing to me, because they were both exactly what I didn't need right now. I'd had two past relationships, both of which had ended badly, and sex had just become something to do in the end, a way of paying when my addiction got too serious and I got over my head with dealers. It was the only way they'd allow me to buy anymore heroin from them.

"No, I'm serious, Hannah. I haven't had a proper relationship since Callum, and I'm really not interested in dating again at the minute to be honest." I warned her gravely, ducking my hair was the two of them turned to look at me curiously.

My cheeks flared up with a bright red colour, giving away my embarrassment, and I was more than glad when Hannah chose to just drop the conversation, seeing how flustered I was becoming. I hated talking about these sorts of things anyway, let alone when I was feeling like this, as low as I was.

People began to arrive at eight, despite how uneasy Gerry had felt first of all about it all, but I was relieved to see that there weren't a lot of people arriving. Hannah had only invited a few guys and girls that she knew, and so did Gerry.

He invited a couple of lads looked around the same age as him, and he invited a couple of younger lads and girls.

I went outside with Gerry and the rest of everyone that had been invited, and sat down on the outside table with everyone. Outside, in the back garden, there was a shed on the left of the garden, perched at the back. There was a long, rectangle pool on the left of the garden, and a few deck chairs placed underneath an umbrella, just beside the pool.

Hannah came back outside, with another guest she had invited in. "Everyone, this is Noah Grayson, and he's a good friend of mine." She introduced him to everyone, and I looked around with everyone else, feeling nosy.

He looked around thirty, but no older, and even I had to admit that he was quite handsome looking, despite how much I wanted to argue against it.

He was tanned, and he had short, dark brown hair, which was wavered in small curls, which were not as messy as the ones that ruffled through Gerry's hair. He was rugged, and he didn't have a full beard, though he had slight facial hair. He was wearing a long sleeved, plain white vest, and jeans.

He smiled as he caught me looking, and I looked away automatically, turning to glance around the back garden in embarrassment, feeling rather ashamed at being caught staring at him, because that was definitely not my intention.

"Oh, and this is Charlotte Davies, who I was telling you about." I heard Hannah telling this Noah from beside her.

I forced myself to look up, knowing Hannah was waiting for me to do so and smiled up at him politely, and he smiled back in response.

"She's an amazing singer, though she won't agree with that." Hannah enthused from beside him, making me flush nervously in response.

"Hannah," I snapped playfully, and he laughed from beside her in response.

"I'd be very interested in hearing you sing some time." He confessed, flashing me a crooked smile, which I couldn't deny actually looked quite hot, not that I'd ever admit that out loud for anyone to hear.

I turned properly in my seat, and stared up at him. "Oh, how so; are you a singer?" I asked curiously.

He looked quite sheepish in response to my abrupt question, clearly not expecting my tone to be so blunt and honest.

"Err…yeah, I guess I am," he confessed, looking as though he was quite uncomfortable about making such a confession, and it instantly made me curious. "Well, I model actually, but err…I much prefer singing."

"And are you any good?" I asked him curiously, ignoring the eyes that Hannah was trying to give me behind him to get me to stop talking.

He laughed nervously in response. "I guess I'll just have to sing for you some time."

"Yeah, definitely," I smiled, encouraging him. "A song from me for a song from you…fair swap." I teased.

He smiled. "Yeah, definitely," he agreed easily.

"Well, I've got to go and invite in some more guests, but I'll let you two chat and get to know each other better." Hannah grinned politely, before raising her eyebrows at me expectantly, and I quickly got the message to talk to him more like she clearly wanted me to.

As Hannah went back inside, I picked up my glass of champagne and took a sip, before taking it upon myself to talk with Noah, like Hannah obviously wanted me to.

"So, you're a model, huh?" I asked curiously, as Noah took his seat beside me, looking a little nervous as he took a swig from his bottle of beer that he had placed upon the table in front of him.

"Erm…yeah," he replied, looking slightly sheepish about it. "Nothing too major though, normally just fashion advertisements and stuff like that…but I also sing in a band at the weekends too."

"Oh cool, where do you sing?"

"Nowhere special; just a pub around the corner from here."

"Cool, I'll have to drop by and have a listen." I smiled. "Will you be there this weekend?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah, we get asked to perform every week."

"Wow so you must be good then." I joked playfully, making him smile in response.

"Well either that or they're just desperate." He joked back in response. "No, but I'm curious, are you a singer too? That's what Hannah was telling me."

"Erm…yeah, I guess I am actually. I'm more of a singer and an actress, but I also write in my spare time too. I published a book across Europe called Tainted Soul." I admitted, shrugging it off.

"Oh my god…I thought I recognised your name from somewhere, but I couldn't figure out where…I've read that book. It's _amazing_, no seriously." He stated confidently, when I tried arguing with him. "As you can probably tell from my accent, I'm not American, and I was taking some time out back in London with some mates, and they got me to read this book. I couldn't put it down for the whole week I was there right until I read all of it." He insisted, making me smile in response.

I loved receiving compliments for my work, especially for my writing too, and so I truly did appreciate it.

"Well I'm glad that you enjoyed it," I insisted with a smile. "Though I admit, I'm surprised you're a fan, considering how…well, the story of the book. Though I have to compliment you on your amazing reading choice, of course." I added quickly as a joke, making him laugh in response.

"What are you trying to say? That I'm too manly?" He joked, winking at me playfully, and making me flush a little in response.

"No, not at all, really," I quickly stopped when I saw him laughing at me in response, when I tried to correct him, to not insult him. "I don't get many male fans in all honesty, so I was just surprised." I confessed.

"Well clearly it's just because nobody's as amazing as me." He joked, throwing me a cheeky grin, and making me smile in response.

I turned back to look at Gerry once I was finished talking, suddenly realising that I was probably talking a little much and leaving him completely out of the conversation, and I instantly felt guilty for not having realised sooner, considering how much I had been talking to Noah in the last few minutes.

Gerry looked bored, as he stared out into the garden, watching the others as they lounged next to the pool, laughing and messing around, and I instantly felt guiltier as he sipped on his glass of diet coke, realising I hadn't been making a very decent effort in talking to him whilst I was getting to know Noah.

"Sorry, how rude of me not to introduce you two," I spoke clearly, keeping my eyes on Gerry so that he realised that I was talking to him. "Noah, this is Gerard Butler, you've probably heard of him before." I teased, as they shook hands, making Gerry roll his eyes in response.

I grinned, pleased that he didn't seem too concerned that I hadn't properly been talking to him. I sometimes had the habit of leaving people out of a conversation without even meaning to, and considering how kind he had been to me, the last thing I wanted to do was upset him.

I quickly made my excuses and went to the kitchen to go and get myself another glass of champagne, though I wished that I had started on cocktails, as I couldn't drink anything different now.

Hannah was still socialising in the back garden with people she had invited, and I suddenly felt very envious about how amazing she was at interacting with people, considering how terrible I could be when talking with people, though tonight wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, I had to admit.

"You haven't got another bottle of beer by any chance, have you?"

I smiled in response to Noah's curious question, looking up to take in where he was stood. He was perched on the outside of the garden, leaning on the door of the kitchen, and smiling at me cheekily.

"Oh, yes we have loads, no fear of us running out, as Hannah got a whole stack of beers in tonight." I joked in response, waddling over to the fridge and grabbing another bottle of beer out from one of the cabinets, like he wanted. I passed it to him with a smile as he stepped further into the room.

"So…" I trailed off, as he remained on the other side of the table to me.

I felt quite small as I stood in front of him, as he was quite tall compared to me, even in my high heels. I still couldn't quite manage to walk in them quite accurately, but they definitely made me look half a foot taller than what I actually was.

"How old are you anyway, just out of curiosity?" I asked.

He pretended to look insulted. "Wow, you're actually going to ask me my age, that's so rude…,jokes, sorry, I'm a terrible joker, err…I'm 25, why'd you ask?"

I smiled in response, shrugging it off. "I was just…curious," I lied as casually as I could, even though it was more out of seeing just how older he was than me, more than anything. "Well, I'm 20, so that's not too bad an age gap." I teased playfully, making him flash that same cheeky, crooked smile, and again, I couldn't help but just stare a little in response, considering how enchanting that smile looked.

"Ah, I see," he insisted with a smirk. "Glad you're impressed."

"And I'm glad you're glad," I teased playfully, making him laugh in response. "Yeah, you see, I'm a terrible joker too." I joked, making him laugh in response.

"Well, that makes two of us."

I took another sip of my champagne from the glass, feeling the alcohol slowly start to circulate around my body, the more that I drunk, though I was nowhere near to being drunk quite yet though.

"So, I'm being curious now," he confessed sheepishly. "When did you move to Los Angeles, as I haven't seen you around before?"

I smiled hesitantly in response, realising that by telling him just how long I had lived here for, it would mean explaining to him the details about rehab and my drug problem, and then the fact that I had given up a son and everything else, and I knew that would be enough so scare anyone away.

"Err…" I trailed off, hesitating as I pondered on how much I could and should tell him, considering the things I had gone thought lately.

I looked down at the sparklingly clean table top and pursed my lips together in a firm line, trying to decipher what information to tell him first, and which of the information was less scary sounding than the other, before realising that it was all as bad as each other, so none of it made a difference.

I told him that I'd had a problem with drugs, and how I'd overcome that with rehab, but I left it as that, as I didn't feel comfortable in telling him everything, because I had only really just met him, and even this was a difficult thing for me to confess, considering what trouble I had been having lately.

He raised his eyebrows in response, but beside that, didn't look too shocked considering, which I suppose was a good thing, considering how most people's reactions would be one of shock, or at least, that's what I believed, especially as I could have messed up my whole future with my stupid behaviour.

"Wow, so yeah, you've had a pretty crap year then, I take it?" He asked, trying to sound light about the situation that he could obviously tell was still quite raw for me considering how it had only been a day since I had gotten out of rehab, though he didn't know the specifics of it, which I was glad about.

"Yeah, just a bit," I smiled, attempting to make light of the situation, which I found difficult, considering how hard things had been lately. "But anyway…I've only just moved here, so who knows what's around the corner." I smiled, moving the subject on and forward, and onto a different topic as quickly as I could.

He smiled in response. "Well, I'll happily drink to that." He insisted, raising his bottle of beer along with my glass of champagne and tapping them lightly together.

I took a swig of my glass of champagne and put it down again, trying not to smile as I felt his eyes on me.

Maybe it was the champagne and how many glasses I'd had to drink or maybe it was just how nice he seemed to be, but there was no denying that I quite liked him. It was hard not to like him when you got talking to him.

"What are you looking at?" I finally asked, forcing my eyes upwards to meet his, despite how flushed my cheeks had become, and I could feel the heat of my embarrassment for myself as I asked him.

"Sorry," he apologised quickly, appearing just as flustered as me when he was caught staring. "I guess you've just got one of those faces that you can't help but stare at."

I laughed in response to the corny line, unable to help myself, before quickly ducking my face and trying not to laugh any longer, despite much I wanted to.

"Sorry…it was a bit corny though." I confessed, trying not to be rude as to offend him, though I was pleased when he laughed too.

"No, it's cool…in all honesty; the only chat-up lines I know are the really corny ones." He admitted shamefully.

"Oh, so that is what you're trying to do here then…chat me up?" I asked teasingly, and he smiled in response, giving that crooked smirk that he had a few times tonight.

"Maybe," he replied cheekily, making me laugh in response.

I looked round to see Hannah walking into the kitchen with Gerry following behind, chatting together.

"Awh, it's a shame you have to go." I heard Hannah complain miserably, instantly getting my attention.

"How comes you're going?" I asked him confused as they headed further into the room, feeling a bit disappointed by that. After all, if it wasn't for Hannah and Gerry then this party would never have happened anyway, and I'd have never met more people around the area, and I liked having him here too.

"Yeah, I'm filming early in the morning, so I'm gonna be a bore and go home early and get some sleep." He joked in response, without really looking back to me as he talked, explaining why he was going.

I pouted automatically in response, without even realising at first, feeling my forehead furrow with confusion as I tried to work out if he was okay or not, because it certainly didn't seem like it was, but then maybe that was just because I was being silly, and had had a few too many glasses of champagne.

"That's a shame mate, but it was nice to meet you anyway." Noah instantly replied after Hannah said goodbye to him, and he shook his hand politely.

I smiled in response. "Yeah, it's a shame you have to go so early, but I understand. I'll see you soon though, yeah."

"Yeah, cool," he insisted, though it still seemed as though he was avoiding my eyes, but I ignored it as Hannah lead him out of the kitchen, feeling as though I was probably just being stupid and a little bit drunk.

I instantly moved away my glass of champagne, and tried to tell myself that I was just being silly, and noticing things that weren't there. That was…until I was reminded that maybe I wasn't as being as stupid as I first believed I was being.

"How long have you known Gerry for?" Noah asked me a little suddenly, making me confused as I stare at him from across the table.

I could tell that he was just being nosy as he stared back at me, curiosity gleaming in his olive green eyes.

"Erm…just a few weeks, why'd you ask?"

"Oh, err…nothing; I'm probably just being silly." Noah insisted, though I could tell that he didn't truly believe that from his forced smile, and instantly curiosity made me want to question what had made him ask.

"No, say…what's on your mind."

He paused for a moment or two, pursing his lips together briefly, before he gave in and explained the need for his question.

"I just didn't want to…well, I've been flirting with you quite a bit tonight, and I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't stepping on anyone's toes that's all."

Now I was confused. "Why would you think you're doing that?" I asked with a laugh, feeling as though he was being a bit silly now.

I had thought that maybe I had upset Gerry, but I realised that it was probably just because I was a little bit too dunk, and because he was probably quite tired too, rather than it being down to anything else.

"Maybe I'm just being silly, but it just seemed….it just felt as though he was a bit…jealous maybe, of the attention I was giving you. I'm probably wrong; I'm probably just looking into it too much." He tried to shrug it off.

I laughed in response, before I could stop myself from doing it.

"Sorry…no, I think you're wrong to be honest. Gerry and I…it's not like that at all, he's just a friend. He's helped me out a lot lately, but that's it really. He was probably just tired." I insisted with a smile.

He smiled in response, though he didn't look too convinced. "Yeah, probably," he agreed simply.

* * *

**Please review! :) Review's are love! :)**


End file.
